Back-to-School Resolutions of a Mediocre Mom

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The start of a new school year is my New Year’s Day.

It’s the time I pull out my soapbox. Dust it off. Climb on top. Unroll my scrolled resolutions. And claim how, in this new school year, I will single handedly, once and for all show every mother in my corner of the world how to effectively, with ease and style and poise, be everything to everyone at all times and never, oh, never, drop a single detail.

I will pack school lunches … the night before.

I will never forget, under any circumstances, to have snack food available at 3 p.m. every day.

I will plan dinner menus, only healthy ones at that, for the week … and shop ahead for all of the ingredients.

I will serve those dinners with placemats around the table with no TV on.

I will oversee homework and actually read, yes, read, all papers and notes in their backpacks … every night.

I will make sure books are read and instruments are practiced daily.

I will log on to the schools’ websites and keep well informed on every activity, teacher posting and calendar item.

I will return all forms and monies the day AFTER my child brings them home from school.

I will know the names of ALL of my children’s teachers and which subjects they teach.

I will volunteer for activities in the classroom … and actually remember to attend.

I will make sure my kids are in bed every night to get a full 8-10 hours of sleep.

I will make sure they pick out their clothes the night BEFORE and that I have every item they may WANT to wear clean, folded and put away nicely.

I will tackle this school year with the fierceness of a corporate CEO.

And then … after the first day of school … when I haven’t lived up to any of these proclamations … I will stow away my soapbox, roll up my scroll and keep them until my next New Year’s Day.

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