Today I’m very upset; I came home and cried a lot. People say if you are upset you should cry and then you feel much better. Somehow I fail to feel that today. It’s to do with my professional life. Two years and seven months in the same profession and no promotion at all. Though I have learned a lot being in this company, nothing has come easily to me. I always have had to fight for my rights and have work allotted to me. It’s difficult having two bosses; both of them not as qualified as you are.
Over these years, I have never received any encouragement from either of them—only complaints. It’s only one of the directors in my company who appreciated my work and gave me the recognition that I deserved. One of them, I still can’t figure out why is she even a boss; even her designation is not of a manager. The only reason why I can understand I have to report to her is because she is a very elderly lady. She just doesn’t exhibit any qualities of being a manager, but is saved all the time as she is in the shadow of my main boss, who again is much younger to me, but has a few managerial qualities. She never cares about her team and follows the divide and rule policy. She’ll make fun of you and shout at you in front of everybody being an HR manager. Never supports whenever there is any issue.
When I was in GE, my vice president of our CEO told me many times to get into HR and I was naive at that time to understand why he used to tell me that. Today, I am in HR and though so serious about my work and career, I’m struggling a lot. In the beginning I managed one office in the city. As the business grew, I managed the second office, and then the third, but my hard work just doesn’t get rewarded. I have another colleague who has joined our team; she also is senior to me in designation, as well as age. Till date I have made her sit with me in six inductions, but she still can’t do induction on her own, and my main boss is forcing her to take on the responsibility.
My main boss never made me sit with her for even one induction and used to always shout at me if I asked her questions. My background was completely different to HR. But she never took that into consideration ever. I had to learn everything the hard way without any encouragement. Tears are just rolling down even as I am penning down my feelings. I just don’t see any hope over here anymore. I have been asking for more responsibility and to learn new things, but am not being given an opportunity.
For how long should I be patient? Will I ever get what I deserve or do I have to walk out?