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New Year, New You, Same Me: Musings from the Corner Office

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My resolution for this year? To actually make a resolution.


The last of the plastic greenery has been packed away, and the stores are already decked out for Valentine’s, but here I am still stuck in 2007, searching for a resolution …


The clock is ticking toward my inevitable failure even though I haven’t even declared what I won’t achieve. I’m resolved to make a realistic resolution this year, and that has complicated things somewhat. Facts faced, I’m too lazy to learn a language, too self-absorbed to start volunteering, too single to have a baby … So what to do about my blank to-do list?


Since I spend the vast majority of my waking hours at work, I decided to look around there for inspiration. It isn’t hard to spot other people with resolutions—the site of self-improvement greets me almost at the office door—but it’s hard to find anyone doing anything that I would consider.


Resolute rank-and-filers, no doubt wanting to start the day by burning a few extra calories, ditch the escalators and elevators to schlep up the stairs. Sorry sweaty suckers, I’m a big fan of the morning ride. After all, these Manolo boots aren’t made for walking …


After heath comes wealth, and it seems lots of people woke up after the December spending party with a debt hangover. They’re the ones signing up for lunch-and-learns with such tempting titles as “401k 101” and “Take Stock of Your Savings.”


Let’s be honest, cut-the-cappuccino-and-retire-rich sounded promising when I was a mere cubicle dweller, but now that I am older and wiser and much better paid, I am not going to write down everything I spend on a little pad in my purse to submit to my financial planner. The price tag on that purse alone would send her into cardiac arrest.


Then there’s the line of people waiting to join the corporate gym. Nope, that’s not for me either. Just the thought of wearing workout gear, especially in front of my assistant who gives the word waif new meaning, makes me break out in a cold sweat.


Wait, I‘ve got an idea. If I’m not going to exercise or diet, perhaps I can resolve to a little nip and tuck to look great in ’08? Or maybe some new boobs? Let’s see what the bonus brings …


Remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, my door is always open …

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