George to Barack:
- No matter how bad things are, don’t admit to anything worse than, “It’s a challenge.” If ya have ta talk about the wars, stick with the idea we’re winnin’.
- Pretend ya have a plan that’ll work.
- Give out nicknames. Seems friendly and ya don’t have ta remember real names.
- Make sure ya know how to pronounce things. Your speech writers kin spell stuff phonetically, like Peh-tray-uhs. Learned that back in college from the people who wrote my papers.
- Make sure ya wear your lapel pin. They’ll think you care about the country.
- Don’t answer nothin’ the press asks. Ya’ kin pretend it’s bad for national security or ya kin just turn around and walk back inta the White House.
- Gittin’ a dog, now that was a good idea. If a dog leaks, it won’t come out in a whole lotta nasty books ’boutcha.
- Make no mistake about it, you’re the decider so ya git to do stuff without askin’ anyone. Ya kin thank me for that.
- Your press advisor has ta be able ta keep a straight face, specially while lyin’.
- Ya want a ranch or someplace ta chill. The president kin take plenty of vacation days.
- If you’re lookin’ for my “Mission Accomplished” sign, it’s under the bed. Always makes Laura laugh.
- It’s not forever and ya kin turn over the mess ta someone else and call it a smooth transition.
Laura to Michelle:
- Find an area where he’s lacking and make it yours, like I did with literacy. You’ll have a lot fewer choices than I did.