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Anticipating the George W. Bush Presidential Library

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If the spirit of the George W. Bush Library is to reflect his policies, the building will be off limits to the American public with all archived material deemed classified. Docents would be trained by Homeland Security. Visitors would be prohibited from entering the premises though they’d be required to line up, remove their shoes and be searched for bottles of liquid. Cell phone conversations in the area would be monitored. Plans for the library would not be revealed with Bush claiming he’d fire anyone leaking them but, instead, they’d resign to “be with my family” and the former president would proclaim that the offender is “a good man.”

The mission of a presidential library is to promote understanding of the president as well as of the American experience. In the case of W’s library, therefore, there would be no admission charge out of respect for the current state of our economy. On Tuesdays foreign visitors with euros, now the equivalent of $1.50 in American currency, would be allowed into a room to watch films of George at the ranch, tour a model of Cheney’s underground bunker and view Bush’s favorite childhood book. Proceeds would go to Halliburton and Saudi royals.

The gift shop would surely sell replicas of the outfit W wore in his famous “Mission Accomplished” photo, a plastic paperweight containing the statue of Saddam being removed and a doll with a wardrobe of Laura’s pantsuits.

Discussions are surely underway as to location, the most likely option being adding a children’s room to the Texas library established for Bush forty-one with perhaps a branch in the Baghdad Green Zone.

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