Hillary has the most experience of all the candidates—by far.
With the assassination of Benazir Bhutto this week, the focus of the presidential race has shifted. The new defining issue and buzz word of the day for presidential contenders is “experience.” By that measure, Hillary leads the pack. Hands down. Her experience far outweighs that of all the other candidates combined.
Take Pakistan: If Hillary was President right now, I have no doubt Pakistan would not be erupting in violence. As a matter of fact, Bhutto’s assassination would most likely be spun as a suicide. Key evidence would be covered up, facts would be conveniently realigned and, with the help of the media, as in the Vince Foster “suicide,” anyone who questioned the prevailing line would be quickly consigned to the ranks of the vast right wing conspiracy. Period. Case closed.
Hillary’s past experience would prove invaluable in confronting a host of other important issues facing America today. Recently, Hillary proclaimed that if she were elected president, the price of oil would immediately drop. Just so. Hillary’s past experience in the futures market, which netted her a cool $99,537.00 on a total investment of $1,000 shows how adept she is in manipulating the futures market. (That translates to a 9,987 percent return.) Truly astounding. I have no doubt that if Hillary were elected, oil prices would go down and America could go back to the days of the incandescent light bulb. Experience counts.
Another crucial issue that cries out for an experienced leader is the current mortgage-meltdown issue which threatens to derail the economy. Again, Hillary’s real life experience far outweighs that of all other contenders. Can you spell Whitewater? Facing a crumbling real-estate investment when she and Bill ran Arkansas back in 1978, Hillary showed her mettle. The model home in the failed development of Whitewater was owned by the Clintons. When the owners failed to pay the mortgage, Hillary booted them out without a second thought. A very conservative, market oriented solution. Hillary proved she can act without letting feelings and/or moral sentiments get in the way.
Hillary’s experience also extended to drafting loan documents designed to fool federal regulators in another failed Arkansas real-estate, Ponzi scheme, Castle Grand. Hillary knows how easily the feds can be fooled. Thus, she is ideally positioned to identify real-estate fraud and clean up the current ‘sub-prime’ mess. Again, experience counts.
Although the war on terror has somehow become a non-issue in the presidential campaign, millions of Americans realize fanatical jihadists still have the potential to wreak havoc on America. Hillary’s experience in ferreting out and neutralizing threats to hubby Bill should stand her in good stead. If Hillary decides to take on fanatical jihadists, my bet is she has a better than 50/50 chance of rendering them moot. Her ability to identify and decimate opponents, if applied to murderous jihadists, would most likely be successful. (Of course, as president, she would have legitimate access to their FBI files, which will help allot.) America would then be safe once again.
Another looming crisis for the U.S. is the fact that baby-boomers have started to retire. The government is promising $45 trillion more than it can deliver on Social Security, Medicare and other benefit programs. Hillary’s unique experience in this area could be invaluable. As has been amply documented, Hillary and Bill have had amazing success in wresting unlimited amounts of cash from Chinese connections. One need only recall The Lippo Group, the Riady’s, John Huang, Johnny Chung, etc. Or more recently, the “donations” she received from cooks and waitresses in New York’s Chinatown. If Hillary is president, Chinese cash could very well fix, or most likely delay, the coming social security crisis. Her experience in this area has the added bonus of leaving the next Republican president a financial morass. But, hey, to make an omelet, ya gotta break a few eggs. And Hillary makes great omelets.
Hillary’s experience will also serve her well in confronting the abysmal state of the airline industry. Cancelled and delayed flights have just impacted the travel plans of millions of Americans. Who wouldn’t welcome someone with experience taking charge? Hillary, again, is ideally suited to tackle this mettlesome problem. Consider her experience in Travelgate. Granted, it included the persecution of an innocent man, but, hey, a jury quickly acquitted him. No harm, no foul. Hillary has showed she is capable of doing whatever it takes to make the airlines fly on time.
Based on Hillary’s experience, most problems Americans face will be resolved. The contentious issue of abortion on demand will be solved for good, most likely with the appointment of Bill to the Supreme Court. The poor and disenfranchised will regain their rightful place at the public trough. Victims will again have their voices heard. God will finally be totally banned from the public square. Old white men will lose their privileged status. Women will finally break through the ‘glass ceiling.’ Global warming will be stopped in its tracks with some strategically placed ‘investments’. America will become a truly diverse nation. Multiculturalism will finally eradicate individualism. Capitalism will be replaced by government mandate and the rest of the world will like us again. Utopia will finally be achieved and we’ll all live happily ever after.