Have you ever lived almost half of your life in a foreign country where you don’t know anybody nor the language and their customs and traditions? I’ve experienced it and it is really so difficult and at times I feel so homesick and so frustrated with my life. If you are a foreigner in any country, chances are that you feel isolated especially if you don’t really understand their language. At first, I pass what I hear in my left ear thru my right ear and pretend otherwise but however hard I tried I can’t grasp what they’re saying so I just nod or bow my head. I don’t know when to say “yes or no” whenever they ask me because how can I answer them? There’s always a big question mark on the top of my head that I feel like an ignorant because even their form of writing is so hard to read. It’s like all symbols to me and even up to now that I’ve been here for so many years; I still can’t understand it fully well.
The only good thing is that I can now communicate with them so I rarely used the blank expression on my face every time they ask me something. Before, when I am with them and they are trying to make a conversation, I just watch their expression and if they laugh, I’ll laugh with them and I don’t know if I’m the object of their attention and if I am, I am laughing with myself then. Whenever I look back and think about it now, I just smile and chuckle to myself because my lack of knowledge and understanding to their language is the main reason of my frustration and in turn makes me sad and lonely especially in those times that I don’t have a single friend. I never thought that I would use the internet as a medium of expression. I remember the first time that I had a computer and discovered the whole new world right into my face and to think that it speaks the language that I know. You can just imagine the delight that I felt at that time.