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My So Called Life, So Far (Part 2)

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This is a true story. The names have been changed.

Before the first hearing I called Angela and said, “You are not going to get the children because you are going to jail for having sex with a fourteen-year-old boy, who is Ivan’s real dad.” The first thing that came out of her mouth was, “How did you find out?” I told her I figured it out and then she told me “Ivan is yours,” and I said, “Yes he IS MINE, but we both know that biologically he’s not, and your not going to have them.”

I hired a lawyer and he told me that Angela’s lawyer had called and threatened him and that we needed to take it easy or he and I would both loose and that he could not afford to loose his law practice because he had just started and had to still pay for law school. He was useless in the first hearing, and he reminded me that we could not say anything that would point a finger at Angela because he knew we could not win. After the first hearing, he sent me a letter demanding more money and I told him I was not going to give him anything more until and if he did something for my case because up to this point the had worked for the other side. At the beginning of the second hearing Angela’s lawyer stood up and announced that he was acting in behalf of my lawyer and filing a separation. I learned I would have to appear pro-se. The judge told me that she would allow this and that I would be responsible to hire another lawyer because the State does not provide a lawyer in Civil cases.

Right away during that second hearing I questioned my soon to be ex-mother-in-law, getting no where and then asked Angela, “Is it not true that I caught you fondling Trevor?” She responded, “I don’t remember.” I said “You don’t remember?” and she followed that with “No, no that did not happen.” and I said, “So you are willing to lie under oath?” and she said, “Sir, that was not a lie.”

The lawyer for Angela at a later time said that his client wanted a protective order because she did not feel safe and did not know what I might do. He questioned her on the stand to that effect and then after she returned to her chair, stood there and said he asked his client many times, in many ways if I ever threatened her verbally or raised a hand to her and the answer was always no, and that I did not even raise my voice to her. The protection order was granted. At one hearing the question was raised by the judge if Angela believed me and Angela said, “To my knowledge, he never lied about anything.”

The judge ordered that both Angela and myself be giving a psychological evaluation. My results could not be reviewed with me because I did not have a lawyer but Angela was made privy to them. When Angela was asked for the evaluation results by the judge, her lawyer responded that it was not in his clients best interests for the results to be revealed, and the judge accepted that. I was ordered to continue seeing a therapist because I repeatedly reminded the judge that Angela had molested Trevor and after being rebuked by the judge I still refused to drop the subject. After a few sessions with the therapist and the next court hearing pending the therapist told me that she thought I was the most balanced person and father she had ever spoken too. The judge shared with her that the judge said she did not feel I qualified to have custody because it was not fair to the children that I am a Jehovah’s witness would keep them from enjoying their childhood by keeping them from holidays. The therapist added that I was not being treated fairly by this judge and that I was being screwed over by the court system.

Upon being put before the Judge and being asked to verify that I was indeed seeking help and that my word could be verified by a single phone call, I told the judge that the therapist told me I was being screwed over by the court and that I was already aware of that. The judge did not feel I needed to continue seeing that therapist but did advise me that I still needed therapy and that I was required to seek that for myself. I assured her that I indeed was already doing that in the form of Holographic Repatterning and the judge asked Angela if she thought that would be OK. Angela said that would be fine so long as I was not doing it for myself and someone else was working with me. (me) Oh thank you, thank you. I assured the Judge once again that I had been working with several individuals and I was finding it was helping me. (me again) Why do I need permission from my ex-wife as to whom I see for therapy?

At one point, at one hearing, I was advised that I would be charged with contempt of court for bringing up the issue of molestation again and not to say another word. I said, “I am sorry judge, but if your children were being abused you would do something too.” At another hearing the judge told me that if I kept up with this argument concerning molestation she would just remove my rights and I would never see the boys again and I said you can do what you want but just because you and she(Angela) don’t want to hear; it does not mean it did not happen, and I will continue to say it and tell every man woman and child in the State if I have to that my children have been abused.

At one visit I only was able to have Trevor and as he sat on my lap he told me, “I am going to miss you.” and I said, “I always missed you when you are away.” He said, “No daddy, I am going to miss you when you die.” My response was, “I am not going to die.” and he insisted, “Yes you are, my mom told me you are, and you are, cause she knows.”

Another visit Trevor shared with me that when he grew up he was going to be a super hero and I said oh yeah and he said then mommy can’t hurt me anymore. One visit when I had both boys, I had just got them into the tub and Trevor said he did not like it when his mom touched his pee pee, and Ivan said “Me no like it too, daddy.” He was less than 2.

One visit we were getting out of the car to go into the grocery and Trevor reported, “I do not touch mommy’s pee pee, I don’t, cause you had told me not the to touch someone else’s pee pee, but mommy still touches mine.”

I reported what the boys told me to SRS and they investigated. The woman who did the investigation told me that she went to Angela and said I accused her of molesting the boys and she said she had not. Wow, that was a great investigation.

When I called SRS a second time, I was told that they only investigate an allegation once and since it was not substantiated that they were not obligated to investigate again. I called a Representative and left a message on her machine stating who I was, how she knew me and that SRS was refusing to investigate my son’s allegations again. About an hour later I received a call from SRS saying I was to bring the boys in so they could speak with them. It was decided that Ivan was too small to be asked any questions, but that Trevor might be able to. The woman doing the intake and a local police officer went into the room and conducted the interview. The SRS representative came out to me and said, “Your son knows what’s going on and another investigation will be launched. You will get a response within six weeks.” Six weeks came and went and I got nothing. Finally I was able to get the SRS supervisor on the phone and she halfheartedly and mistakenly slipped that yes they did believe that Andrea indeed was guilty of the charges, but that they did not feel that they could do anything about it at this time because it was a liability to the State.

I wrote letters to the State Attorney General, County Attorney for the county Angela and the boys were living in, the Governor, and several legislators. The Governor’s office wrote back saying they could not and would not get involved, I got a non-committal letter from the Attorney General’s office and quite a nice letter from A Legislator. The Legislator said he was sorry to hear about my situation and that he would encourage the Governor to intervene. I got a second letter from the Governors office saying I was already told that they were not going to get involved and I understood that, but I could not have stopped the letter from the Legislator, even if I had wanted too.

I spoke to not only the County Attorney, but also the Attorney General’s office by phone and informed them that not only had my ex-wife molested my two sons she had in fact had sex with a fourteen year old student from the Middle School where she taught. I was told that the situation saddened and upset them and they did not wish there to be a teacher in their school system that was doing harm to children and they wished me well in my endeavors and hoped that I could do something about the situation.

The SRS Office concluded the investigation and informed me that they indeed felt the mother was guilty of molesting her own children, but that it would be a liability for them to do anything at this time. Now eight years later, the mother is seeking to have the courts remove all parental rights to the father. He was the only one who sought to protect them and it appears that the State themselves ignored the rights of the father, as well as the Constitution of the United States.

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