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Open Letter to President Obama

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Dear President Obama,

My husband did his best to console me once it became clear that I wasn’t among the progressive bloggers you considered influential enough to participate in the conference call to help gain support for your health care agenda. “I’m sure Obama tried to call,” he said, “while you were at the gym.” With your numbers slipping, you might show more respect for my readers, who will, I’m sure, be indignant on my behalf and are likely to organize protests in major American cities as well as on the lawn of the White House. I just hope they don’t trample Michelle’s vegetable garden.

Though I didn’t hear from you personally, I saw you on TV, trying to persuade the general public that we need health care, “sooner, rather than later.” Had I been among the elite group of bloggers included in the call, I would have shared what had been my highly successful strategy for pressing a very reluctant boyfriend to marry me “sooner, rather than later.” With my input, all of America would shortly be insured and able to have long-overdue hysterectomies, hip replacements, and gall stones removed. And your ratings would surely reflect their gratitude.

Hillary, too, didn’t call before leaving for Bangkok. If she had, I’d have given her the name of a tailor who’d custom make pant suits for a fraction of what she pays here. Like me, she may not be on today’s call sheet, but if you should speak to her, tell her to stop in at Milan Suit on Sukhumvit Road near Soi 14.

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