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Promises! Promises!

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 It never fails. Just turn on a TV and you will hear: “Promises! Promises! Order this set of cookware, vacuum cleaner, or a workout DVD for only $19.99 and … if you call within the next ten minutes you’ll receive … TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! Have your credit card ready when you pick up your phone.” 

And this next commercial is very popular right now: “Call today to consolidate those high-interest credit cards by choosing our interest-free card (for one year). Yes! Disvisdiva Card is designed with a beautiful ocean scene and scented with coconut, which is known to give you the same relaxation as if you are always on vacation. Look at it this way, if you pay the minimum payment on your high interest card, it will take you forty-seven years to pay off the balance. Call: Credit Card Reduction Solution Non-Bankruptcy Non-Profit National Company @ 1-800-XXX-XXXX … for a Free Consultation.”

And the next billion dollar commercial: “LOSE WEIGHT OUR WAY! Never before have so many Hollywood actors covered up with this secret! It’s not a pill, capsule, or sweat suit! It’s a patch! Apply it every morning before you skip breakfast and begin your exercise program. Yes, those extra pounds will (eventually, someday, just long enough for you to forget about the sixty-day money-back-guarantee has passed) fall off!” 

And then the ultimate weight loss program suggest you engage friends to be a part of this new—Step in Place—Walk as You Talk—On the Phone Exercise Program. With partners, you won’t let yourself or others down. Sweat to the oldies, the goldies, and this is a little food for thought. A local housewife, Janney Mae Lucinda Arquilla Williams Keith Donaldson Brown from Alabama, lost three pounds the first week! Contact your friends, grab your check book, and start moving, dancing, and kicking your inches away today. (Results not typical.

The winner, in my opinion, above all salespersons is: The car salesman! He is so caring and attentive as he follows you from car to car talking, listening, calculating with you—as you are thinking about monthly payments; he has the financial director “Googling” you to find out everything about you. Your job, your financial report, your family, your friends, and you may not believe this—but your pets are very important to the car business. Imagine this! He may surprise you with this line, “A pretty little Poodle would fit just fine in between the driver and passenger seats! And if you decide to take the St. Bernard on a camping trip, this roomy back seat is a blessing!” 

After a while, you will find yourself sitting in a waiting room as the salesman makes trip after trip between you and the finance director. You feel the despair and anxiety rising as you look at your nails. Some people believe they calm down when they bite their fingernails…. Then you eye the people standing right outside the door, and ask yourself if second-hand smoke would help you forget the smiling salesman.

There is an answer for your dilemma if you’ll take the following advice. The secret to this game is to walk away! Now! Do not fold! This really works because, by afternoon, Mr. Salesperson will be calling your cell phone at home, at your mother’s, at the grocery store, and if you do not respond, his wife will invite you over for a cook-out. All these promises—just to offer you a better deal. Allow this to go on for a couple of days. Tell him you’re looking at another car. Tell him anything and the price will continue to come down!

Once I told a salesperson as I walked away with my affordable payments financed for only six years, “When I leave this lot, you are not going to be out of my life! Oh, no! I want your home number, your cell number, and your e-mail address. This deal works both ways, Buddy!” 

I’m warning you, don’t believe all these promises! As I say this, I am sipping on a cup of decaffeinated coffee, flavored with artificial vanilla, and non-dairy calorie free creamer! I am also enjoying a delectable dessert of sugar-free Jello-O, covered with fat-free Kool Whip, laced with a low-carb cookie.

Umm … um … good!


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