How does one measure the value of human life? One can only think that in today's American equality-centered society, that his or her own life is just as important as the next person. However, it is a different story for those who have chosen a homosexual lifestyle. Although he or she may be your next-door neighbor, they are put under such a different magnifying glass than the rest of modern society. That watchful eye has put immense taboo on these individuals, scrutinized for making normal choices in life, but considered different because they are labeled as gay. In answering the question of the value of their life, some have even turned to ending it. Homosexual individuals face such discriminating adversity caused by their own psyche, the media, religion, and, most importantly, family and peers; these forces are the main causes of an overwhelming amount of suicide in homosexual and bisexual youth.
Suicide in the gay society is a result of rejection: rejection from family, friends, peers, the community, and rejection of one’s own sexuality. According to an article by B.A. Robinson, religious conservatives feel that many homosexual youth think “they are trapped forever in the homosexual ‘lifestyle.’” These people would say that the cure for this would be to accept your homosexuality, and live a celibate lifestyle. Coming out of homosexuality, not to be confused with “coming out,” means to live the remainder of one’s life without an intimate partner. Having to choose a life of celibacy because you cannot accept your own sexuality can lead to a life of loneliness, and ultimately, depression.
Religion can play a large role in suicide and depression for sexual minorities. An article about religious discrimination on homosexuals states the following: “The contrast with sexual minorities, like gays and lesbians, is profoundly striking. Religions frequently have their own educational, social institutions, and widespread cultural vindication. Religious individuals—including especially children—have ready-made support systems in the family and the community. By contrast, queer youth often have no family or community support for their sexuality, and are sometimes ‘thrown away’ by their families” (Macdougall, Short).
So, to add onto the hardships of trying to be both religious and homosexual, there is very little support for these individuals. Being shunned by your religious community is yet another thing that can hurt someone psychologically. When family and friends are absent, religion is sometimes all that is left; when religion turns its back, one of the results of this can be suicide.
The media and the general male and female stereotype play a big part in why homosexuals eventually take their lives. From the moment a baby boy or girl is born, there is a stereotype and expectation put on him or her. Boys play with G.I Joe. Girls play with Barbie. Parents want their boy to grow up to be successful, and marry a beautiful woman; on the other hand, girls should grow up to raise a family, complete with a husband and children. We are trained at a young age that this is the way of the world. This, however, can cause psychological problems early on for people not sure about their sexual preference, especially present in males. Because of the male and female stereotype, it is hard for one to accept having a different sexuality due to fear of being “abnormal.”
Family and friends can be the greatest factor when it comes to homosexuals and suicides. The teen years are a difficult time in general, even without the hardships of living a gay lifestyle. During these years, family and friends have the most impact on how a homosexual or bisexual teen develops. We all remember the peer pressure and bullying that happens in high school. For many gay teens, it is around this age that they have to ask themselves a crucial question: Do I come out and admit my sexuality, or do I hide it?
In an article by Jane Drucker, she addresses a question asked by a reader about how she, a lesbian teenager, should handle coming out to a homophobic father. Jane’s answer was to basically hide it. She says: “I don’t generally support secrets and hiding, but any teen who comes out to a homophobic parent is taking the risk of being cut off from home and finances. In the cases of young people who are not yet prepared to be fully on their own, I usually recommend that they wait…until they are in a stable and secure position in life” (Drucker).
The sad truth is that sometimes the only safe thing you can do as a homosexual teen is lie. Imagine how traumatizing it must be to hide who you are from the ones that you love at a young age. For those who do decide to be open about their sexuality, as Drucker expressed in her article, they know there is a big chance for others to act negatively. She writes, “Your niece still has about five years during which time she is likely to need her family’s backing” (Drucker). I feel that she meant both financially, emotionally, and mentally. The teen years are years of development. This is a time to find yourself, learn who you are, and become who you will be for the rest of your life. Support from both family and friends is dire. “Coming out” comes with many risks: risk of losing friends, disappointing family, disownment, teasing, bullying, and estrangement. Those who choose the homosexual lifestyle face these hardships and it is the perfect recipe for depression and suicide.
According to studies shown on livescience.com, homosexuals account for anywhere between twenty-five and thirty percent of suicides (Radford). It is hard to say exactly what the numbers are, because not everyone who is gay will admit it in their lifetime, and sexuality is not recorded on the birth certificate. However, the estimated percentage of suicides for gay youth is shocking and sad. There are not many studies on if suicidal tendencies in homosexuals are rooted in personal psychological problems versus outside forces. I was able to get true insight by interviewing a few young adults who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. My bisexual interviewee, Dominique, has lived a relatively open bisexual lifestyle since she was a freshman in high school. She never endured the thoughts or feelings of suicide. Her friends and family generally accepted the fact that she is bisexual and embraced it. Female bisexuality seems to be more accepted than other types of sexuality, and she is a prime example. Next, I interviewed Rendell, a gay male. He had a very difficult time coming out to his father and older brother. Rendell was raised in a religious family. He faced the typical bullying that comes with a high school experience. He admitted to me that he had suicidal thoughts during his junior year of high school. From my interviews and research, it is apparent that the experiences they faced during the course of admitting their sexuality was what made the difference in their stories.
Sexual minorities face more adversity from religion, family, friends, and the media, than heterosexuals, and therefore, are more susceptible to depression, which explains such a devastating suicide rate. Luckily, in our day and age there are more resources than ever before that offer support to depressed and suicidal homosexuals who are facing any of these problems. Jane Drucker mentioned that the website, www.pflag.org, is a good source of information for kids who want to come out to their parents or for kids who have been kicked out. We now have the suicide hotline, which is open to everyone. Teen lines are specifically for young adults, and they can help young adults who are having a hard time with their sexuality. Although the discrimination of homosexuals may never totally disappear, hopefully these individuals will use these resources to avoid becoming a statistic in the suicide rate for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.
