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Which Candidate Do You Trust to Lead the Country?

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The candidates’ body language became the centerpiece of post-debate discussion once the pundits exhausted analyzing whether each candidate “did what he had to do” and if the exchange had been “a game changer.”

If you missed any of John McCain’s weird reactions, blinking, and tics, the body language experts have been interpreting the difference between his pursed lips (masking anger) and Barack Obama’s wide, toothy smile (confident restraint).  McCain’s use of “air quotes” while debating late-term abortions when a mother’s health is in jeopardy would have been explored in more detail except for the urgency to cut away to Joe the Plumber.

This campaign has gone on way too long. The undecideds, if they still can’t figure it out, should toss a coin. It would be more productive to take remaining campaign funds and distribute them to the needy or put them towards becoming energy-independent.

On an hourly basis, the pundits point to a map showing states colored red, blue, yellow, and gray and update us on how white women, Florida bubbies, and college acapella groups are likely to vote. The only question still unanswered is whether or not multiple personalities all support the same candidate. Maybe that’s for Colin Powell to clear up on Meet the Press this Sunday.


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