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First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

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It seems that once a woman gets married, people immediately want to know when she’s going to start a family. I’m amazed by how many people have followed their marital congratulations with “when are you planning to have children?” The (extremely personal!) topic explodes in your face mere seconds after the volume on “what color are your bridesmaids dresses?” is turned down. Sometimes I just want to yell “WHOA there! One life milestone at a time please!!”

What’s really weird about my reaction to this question is that I actually think about having children all the time; but not in the “ohman I want one RIGHT NOW” sort of way (stay calm husband!), more like “someday when I do this baby makin’ thing it is totally gonna rock!” I love imagining what my husband and I will be like as parents: I love envisioning our little family adventuring in NYC and knowing I’ll have the perfect excuse to indulge in all the “little kid” activities I find so entertaining (arts and crafts, circuses, playgrounds!) I love the idea of being a mom.

But I’m also well versed in known “lesser joys” of parenting - the exhaustion, deciding whether or not to leave the city I love and navigating how to be a career rock-star like my Dad AND a supermama like my stay-at-home Mom (can it be done!?) In the see-saw of my mind, couples getaways and date nights are still far more appealing than having any tiny 3rd parties join us. Is this normal? Is there a normal? I keep imagining some day I will wake up and magically “be ready”. Until then however, I will smile politely through the Baby Inquisition while mentally planning bicycling trips in France, boozy Tuesday nights and awesome Saturdays where I hide in bed with my husband until noon.

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