More
Close

And Then Came Fonzie

Tags: 
+ enlarge
 

It began late one night, almost exactly five years ago while I was working at home waiting for some files to download. A week prior, a friend had given me the web address of a website he insisted that I visit. I was a bit of a workaholic during those days and all of my time spent online was for work purposes. This particular night I decided to break from that norm and visit this curious website that I had been given. As it turns out it was a web-dating website in which all users had to have a webcam. I had a webcam and I had time to kill. The very first person to send me a message via webcam chat was someone named blndblu28. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and was more handsome than anyone I had ever spoken to, online or off. And so it began. He introduced himself and I did the same. We chatted via webcam for hours that night. My work, well, those files may still be downloading for all I know. Every night following was consumed with us getting to know each other.

Eventually we graduated from instant messages and e-mails to telephone calls and webcams simultaneously. We would spend hours talking about his family, my family, work, hopes, and places we had been to or lived previously. We discussed what we wanted for the future and asked thousands of questions geared to helping us learn more about the other person. They were the most exciting conversations I’d had in a long time and I looked forward to them everyday with giddy anticipation. I found him to be sweet, loyal, sensitive, decisive, very handsome, and sincere.

Very quickly, I became more interested in him than I would have normally deemed acceptable were it anyone else in the same situation. I knew in my heart what I was beginning to feel, but always being the practical, responsible individual, I reasoned that those feelings were surfacing much too soon. Days, then weeks passed and not a day would go by that we didn’t speak multiple times a day. He was the first one I spoke to every morning and the last one I spoke to before I fell off to sleep. We had been discussing finally meeting in person and it came out, those three delicious words that I could not wait to hear him say to me. He told me that he loved me.

And for a split second, I believe I stopped breathing, went deaf, and all my extremities went numb. Then warmth enveloped me, my heart started beating faster. I was flush and I felt a happiness that I had never felt before. My feelings weren’t surfacing too soon. It wasn’t crazy to fall for someone that I haven’t even met in person. What I felt inside was finally justified because the truth of the matter was that I loved him too.

From that point on things between us seemed to progress pretty quickly. “I want to come to visit you,” were his exact words. Immediately I had a small panic attack. I became nervous, the kind of nervous that makes you nauseous, makes it hard to breathe, and makes you want to just run away. Oddly, I was thrilled and terrified at the same time. “What if he doesn’t like me?” “What if he thinks I am ugly or fat?” Those were the questions going through my mind at that very moment and they didn’t leave my mind until after he arrived. We decided that he would come to visit on November 22, 2004. I will never forget that date. We planned that he would stay for four days. I must have changed my mind about the perfect outfit to wear a hundred times. I finally decided on simplicity. I wore a crisp, white cotton button-down shirt with blue jeans. I was going for a casual-chic look. I didn’t want to appear too eager, yet I wanted him to know that this was special to me. Interestingly he was also wearing a white button-down shirt and blue jeans. For a split second, that fact made me smile. I had never been so scared in my life. That is the honest truth. It was so silly to me to feel that way because he was merely a man. That fact didn’t matter. I suppose my hopes and expectations were getting the best of me.

It was a perfect, sunny Arizona day. I stood by my car waiting for him in the passenger pick-up area, when I spotted him walking towards me. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to become invisible. An instant bout of low self-esteem took over and I had to quickly tackle it and get a grasp on my self-confidence. I walked towards him and gathered the nerve to look at his eyes. He was breathtakingly handsome and at that moment I wanted this to work out more than I wanted anything. He was looking down as he walked. As I got a bit closer he looked up and saw me moving towards him. I saw nothing, no expression to show his feelings one way or another. My heart sank and instantly weighed a ton. “He’s disappointed,” I thought.

Then in a split second I saw it, a slow, sincere, sweet smile crept across his face that ended up stretching from ear to ear. By then he was directly in front of me. Without speaking a word, he looked at me with his beautiful, perfectly white, toothy smile, bent down, and lightly kissed my lips. And as he hugged me I felt elation. I was proud of myself for overcoming my fear and following through with meeting him. I was ecstatic that he seemed to like me. And I knew that whatever happened between the two of us, whether that was the beginning of something great or the end of what could have been, I would always remember it with fondness.

The day that he was supposed to leave came all too quickly. I was supposed to take him to the airport for an evening flight, which was scheduled to leave at ten-thirty. I realized that he wasn’t packed. I kept reminding him of the time and that we needed to leave soon in order to get to the airport on time. He did not say a word. I sat down next to him in frustration and asked him what was going on. He told me that he did not want to leave. He said that he loved me and knew for certain that he wanted to be with me and he did not see the point in flying back to Syracuse. He said he would just end up turning around and coming back. I was stunned.

I did not know what to do or say. I had never lived with anyone. I did not know if I was ready to take on a roommate and a live-in boyfriend. I thought of what my parents would think of me living in sin with a man. I knew they would not approve.

A million thoughts ran through my mind simultaneously. On top of all of those feelings I also felt incredibly confused. I wondered how someone could just pick up and leave a whole other life so fast. This wasn’t rational. My decisions have always been planned out and very calculated and his behavior made me uneasy. Now that I know him I realize that is his way. He knows what he wants and simply makes it happen. Back then, it just seemed too spontaneous and almost irresponsible. I decided to follow my heart. I felt that perhaps this was happening for a reason. Maybe I was meant to be with him. With much uncertainty I agreed that he could move in with me. Two days later he found a job. Four months later we found out I was pregnant for the first time.

In the span of just a few months I started a new job, found a boyfriend, got a roommate, and became pregnant. My life changed completely. After our son was born we decided to move to his hometown of Syracuse, New York. I can only say that I was incredibly unhappy there and I plan to never set foot on Syracuse soil again. Almost a year to the day we moved back to Tucson. A month after we returned we found out I was pregnant again. Our son was twenty months old when our daughter was born. Two months before her birth, Fonzie and I got married.

We have been married almost three years and together for five years. We have two beautiful children and my life has changed so drastically that it still amazes me to this day. Fate, destiny, or the powers that be had something wonderful planned for me and I didn’t know it. I thought my single life was satisfying and fulfilling and then came Fonzie.

Comments

Loading comments...