“My” Annie is a fervid fan of the British football (soccer) team, Chelsea, and in her own words, she’s crazy to freeze her ‘derriere’ when she goes to see them play in London, not too far from where she lives. I guess all sports fans are fanatic about their teams.
I mentioned in my previous story how dear Ann misspells or misuses some words, and that she recently had problems with her breathing after having missed some of her exercise classes. I only have a couple of sentences, one of which she wrote in the spring:
At the moment, I have a nasty cold and I feel really rotten so I am dosing myself up.
And the other, upon her return from her vacation this year : I found that the hills in general especially climbing the steep slopes from the beach paid its toll on me.
Here are some more of her forwards or jokes. Unfortunately, I have no more of her misspellings because I erased so much mail.
TEACHER Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your multiplication tables on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile’?
GLENN: K-R-O-K-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I love this kid).
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it is H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIE: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No, sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
The Human Body!
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support three kilograms (6.6 pounds).
The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the
stress that builds during the day
LATE NIGHT SNACK
One whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
REMEMBER :
‘‘stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘desserts’
Finally, here’s some advice for you:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started …
So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of biscuits, the mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates..
Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.
I wrote to ‘Annie’ yesterday. I have no idea of whether she will answer me. At times, she doesn’t turn on her computer for quite a while, or she forgets that she asked me if I had my operation AFTER she sent me get well wishes and flowers.
I miss the ‘old’ Annie.
(Part 1) | Part 2
