She had always thought that there was a song for all situations, if you just listened to the lyrics. She had found an old Oak Ridge Boys tape, okay, it was a cheesy tape, but one song in particular caught her attention, it was called “I Got to Get Over This.” The first line is “I gotta get over this, this hurt has lasted much to long I gotta get over this and get back on the track that I belong.” She thought how true that was.
So after listening to that song, she decided to get on with life, with or without him. She would not stop liking him—you just don’t stop your feelings that easily—she would always think he was damn sexy, very good looking, smart, and funny. Simply because he was. At least in her mind he was.
She is feeling better about this, she wonders if she was meant to be alone, if she was meant to be without someone. She wonders if she would have had the time. She works too much; she helps to take care of her mother, and somewhere in the midst of all this she tries to have somewhat of a life. When she had gotten married, she thought it would be for life. She had loved her husband with all her heart and look where that got her. She never remarried; marriage should be for life.
So she thinks that maybe she is not meant to be with anyone, and she is okay. She is comfortable with that. She has been alone for a while now, she knows that life has a way of kicking you down, and she does the only thing she knows: get up and keep going.
She does not fall in love at the drop of a hat and she is not saying that she had fallen in love with him, only that maybe she could have. But she does know that she won’t put herself in that position again. They say nothing ventured nothing gained. I ventured and did not gain. And you know what? She found it wasn’t the end of the world, she cannot say enough of “maybe it could have been nice.”
Of course she is old enough to know this. She has been through enough in life to know this, some things that she will never talk about, but hey, she considers this a little bump in the road.
But she knows herself well enough that if and she knows it’s a big if he did show interest well that would be a whole new story.
She had had sweet dreams of him. She found that strange, as she has not dreamed of anyone for a long time, and you would have thought it would have been dreams of making love because that’s what she would have really liked, but it was just kissing him kissing her, sweet long kisses, and she really liked those dreams because when she dreamed of him it was always that dream.
So no worries for him from her, she will leave things the way they are. She will talk to him, and probably even stop by his house, and she will not bother him by telling him she likes him; he already knows that. But she is done trying to start something he doesn’t want started. Time for her to go on. Now is truly the time to say Waka Waka.