Often times, I think the various levels of friendship are quite odd. It’s strange, really, that most people have friends that are nice to have for different reasons. I mean, there are friends that are fun just to do random things with, out of character things with, friends that you can actually talk to about things, friends that are always there, friends that act like they would be there, etc.
I think sometimes the rules and boundaries that evolve in friendships are odd. I don’t feel like I have many true friends. The kind that you can tell anything with the advantage of true acceptance, and the knowledge that they will relay it to not a soul, not even the person they sleep with (that is tough, trust me). The kind of friend who is there for you even when it is inconvenient for them. The kind you can let visit your home when it is at its worst because you know they aren’t going to blab to everyone that you can’t keep your act together. The kind of friend who bothers to ask how you are (even when in the midst of their own personal crisis). The kind who asks how your children/spouse/pets are doing.
True friendship is so different and complex in adulthood. It’s way more than it ever was as a child. Friendship is more than borrowing pencils or clothes. It is more than matching hair barrettes or smiles.
It is the combination of trust and humor; humbleness and humility; and even more so, laughter and tears.
I’m not sure at what point the boundaries in friendship arise. It certainly isn’t visible in a map or listed in an encyclopedia. I mean, if it was, the transition from child to grown up might be at least 1000 times easier. I suppose the points of change are unique. Probably, they evolve when your stations in life change. When people begin to act like they understand situations they do not comprehend, rather than being complacent with the fact that as a true friend you do not always have to understand a situation to accept it. Sometimes it’s just the accepting part, sometimes it’s just the trusting part, and sometimes the laughing part helps.
The boundaries will come though. If not, you are quite lucky.
Regardless, it’s interesting how easy it is to classify the multi-faced levels of friendship. It’s also sad. The true implications that exist in the world of adult friendship are so strange these days. Strange and unwarranted.
As a women, how do you view friendship in adulthood? Have your friends changed throughout the years? Have you had the same friends since kindergarten?
