Getting to Know Someone After They’re Gone

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Sometimes you really never get to know someone until they’re no longer here. I think it’s because when they’re gone, you start thinking about all of those little things that you may have not taken the time to notice when they were right there in front of you. My sister-in-law, Cynthia, was one of those people for me. As I sit and remember things about her, I realize how much I always enjoyed her company, her love for life, her strong opinions, and her love for her children, family, music, and woodwork.

She was strong, smart, funny, talented, and loving. She loved her girls, oh so much. She loved her brothers—no, she loved and adored her brothers.

She was never vain about her talents; she just liked to share them. She was a very talented singer and guitarist. I could listen to her for hours. You could see and hear her passion for music when she played her guitar and sang; her slender fingers just flying over the strings her unique and beautiful voice.

She wasn’t very old when she passed away, only forty-seven. Even in her darkest hours, she gave hope to those she loved by staying positive. She knew she would miss so many things, but she knew she would be missed and didn’t want her loved ones to be sad, but to think of her lovingly and to happily live their own lives. She dealt with the hand that was dealt to her (as she would say).

We like to kid that even the date she passed away on was by design—Fourth of July. Who could be sad on a day of celebration like that?

Breast cancer took her and took my ability to get to know her even better by visiting with her in person. But, it didn’t take my memories of her or my love for her. I’m not sad, but I miss her and love her still. I celebrate the time I had with her. Through memories, her brother (my husband), pictures, playing some of her songs … I’m still getting to know her …


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