You know how it drives you crazy when your girlfriend stops hanging out with you and being your friend just because she has a new guy? Well, having been almost chronically single most of my adult life, when I found my boyfriend, my partner, my now-fiancé, I decided that I would not be one of those girls, that I would always find time for my girls.
But my girls didn’t want me anymore. One decided that now that I had found a guy, I was not worth talking to. Why? Well, because single people are better, more intelligent (they know better than to get married—have you seen the divorce rate?) and above all, more reliable. Besides, she told me, “You have no right to have friends. You have a boyfriend. That’s enough. You can’t have it all. I won’t let you.”
Another one decided that it was too painful for her to talk to me anymore. She could not, apparently, listen to me mention my boyfriend—it reminded her too much of the fact that she was desperate to marry and have babies. I was not allowed to talk about my future plans because that was not her future too. It didn’t matter that I had to listen to her future plans—plans to move to South America, to experience a new culture, to do something different. I can’t share that future (it sounds wonderful to me, and if I were single, I would’ve liked to do that too, but I can’t …) but I have to listen to it anyway.
I know that I am probably a minority. I know that most girls, when they find a guy, let their worlds revolve around the couple. But I’m not like that, and it’s not fair that my friends—the people who are supposed to know me better—treat me as though I’m not me.
Well, I guess this has taught me one thing: These are not my real friends.