Obama Listen to Mama Talk Dog

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Obama Mama Talks Dogs
 
In the White House, two adorable children will dream of frolicking gently with their dog.

There is something that they should know.

I speak from my own experience.

I cherish dogs. No animals do more for people kind than dogs. (I do not want to hear from monkey lovers, please)! Scientists and Lassie herself said dogs have been on earth for millions of years protecting and pooping on property and have remained faithful companions. Indeed, the ancient Ethiopians respected dogs so much they once chose a dog to be their king; they obeyed his every command, or what they believed to be his will whenever he barked.

They must have been very busy, those Ethiopians, if their king was anything like our dog. He barks at light bulbs, cat commercials and my brother who gave him to us in the first place. Wow; speaking of light bulbs-I just realized the dog may be filled with resentment because my brother gave him to us; drum beat for major insight, please.

The dog yelps at cars pulling into a driveway in the next town. Crickets drive him nuts, as do rustling trees and small insects.

On the other hand, he absolutely loves burglars. One evening our considerate little darling allowed us to sleep throughout the night while two bikes and a weed-whacker were ripped off before his very nose.

A Dog Intelligence Test, developed by a school psychologist might have me believe our dog was not too bright by judging his IQ. I object to this type of harassment on the ground it might lead to similar tests for humans or even politicians and cable television journalist with close-minded, petty styles.

Anyway, these types of tests are open to interpretation. The results might indicate to one person that my dog has a bird brain but I see him as having different priorities than I do. Insects bug him and burglars to not.

I hope the White House dog will be a mutt, this too from my experience. I trust our dog never realizes he is too smart for our household. We are already feeling inferior since he is the only purebred in the house, the rest of us are mix-Brooklyn, Bronx, and Pig Latin.
His name is Charlton Farthington Worthington (he prefers to be called Sir) but out of earshot we call him Chuck.

Environment is said to influence canine behavior. Supposedly if your dog is highs-strung it may reflect on your personality. I do not believe this theory for a minute.

We brought up our animal to believe that sex is beautiful; a natural function between two consenting adults. Still, a few times a year he slinks out the doggy door for a little romance with the poodle/slut next door who is very consenting and seducing, she wears an off the shoulder collar and when Chuck returns, there is guilt written all over his face. He creeps in quietly, head bent and body as close to the wall as possible. He slinks across the floor and wedges under the bed. Where does he get that attitude from? We haven’t behaved that way in years, long before he arrived here.

If he took the IQ test and flunked we’d still adore him. He is loyal, affectionate and forgiving and licks you all over when you return from work. Can you make that statement about any other dear friend? Do you have his number?

We don’t mind the hassle of keeping him well and happy. We feed and bathe him take care of his medical needs at great expense (the only two who can actually live as cheaply as one are a dog and his flea) and provide high quality shoes to chomp on. We ask very little in return.

When I come home from a busy day I simply ask Chuckie if any one called. You’d think that after everything I personally have done for him, he’d jot down a couple of lousy messages.

Luckily, the White House has a switchboard for that.

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