Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, brown hair, blue eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. She was my pillar when I was falling, strong and concrete; never leaving my side until I was sturdy and standing tall. Years ago we made a promise to each other—that no matter what, we’d always be together, best friends regardless of the distance or spaces between us. A promise to always be there for the other no matter what; a promise to never let growing up come between us, to never let another pull us apart; a vow to be best friends forever. It was a promise full of love and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that could only come from the hearts of the very young.
One clear summer night in 2004, I remember starring up at the sparkling stars, slowly swaying on a playground swing. My best friend of eight years sat quietly on the swing next to me. In a few months we were leaving for college. She was following her dreams of becoming a journalist to the University of Connecticut, while I was following mine to Fitchburg State College; and for the first time since we met, we would be separated. In reality the distance between our schools was not too far, but at the time it seemed like they were on opposite sides of the world. Just as I wiped a tear from my cheek, a beautiful, glistening light darted across the sky. In an instant it was out of sight, leaving only a white trail to mark its existence. I stared in awe; I couldn’t believe that I had finally witnessed one. I remember that I was still starring up at the sky in amazement when I faintly heard Ashley say, “best friends no matter what, promise?” But my attention was still focused on the sky. I remember whispering “I pinky promise,” as I stared at the fading white strip, a straight line leading back to the spot it had fallen from. I couldn’t understand why we see something so entrancing only for a brief moment, I wanted more. Although happy, I felt slightly afraid that I wouldn’t ever experience it again. I can’t describe the exact feeling I had at that moment, but I know it’s a feeling that I haven’t experienced since. I don’t know for certain if it was the shooting star that made the moment so memorable or if it was the promise I made to Ashley.
Ashley had been the one person in my life that I could always count on; little did I know that was all going to change. Basically, you can plan all you want but a person has no control over the outside forces that come suddenly and change your life. All you can do is keep writing your plan. I had no idea that night on the playground that we wouldn’t be able to keep that promise to each other, nor did I know that our friendship would never be as loyal or innocent as it was that night ever again.
Just as quick as that star fell out of sight, so did Ashley. Our friendship lasted for only four years after that night on the playground. Although it seemed like it passed by a lot faster than that. We stayed best friends throughout most of college, but during our senior year I watched our friendship slowly fade away. When it was over, I was left with the same astonishment as I was four years earlier on that summer night. As if I was still looking up at that sky, starring at the fading white strip of what had been. The same questions arouse in my mind. Leaving me wondering; why we’re only allowed glimpses of those magical moments before they disappear? Again, I wanted more. I remember it was in this period of my life that I fully understood the concept of having a broken heart and pain that comes with losing your best friend. More importantly, I was afraid I’d never experience anything like it again …
Part 1 | (Part 2)
