When you don’t like your husband’s family there's always trouble brewing and little you can do about it.
I’m convinced that there are some issues that just can’t be fixed and not liking your husband’s family is one of those issues. the holidays are a highly-emotional time all around, which can cause a lot of anxiety within the home.
My husband has a wonderful family; they genuinely love each other and try to help if one or the other needs something. However, for whatever reason they have never accepted or liked me. By the grace of God, I have a healthy sentiment regarding this issue. Simply stated; just because you love me doesn’t mean your family has too, thus let’s just acknowledge and adjust accordingly. This brings me to his siblings' Christmas celebration, which is this weekend. I've decided I no longer want to put myself out and visit (for any length of time) with his family. So I suggested he attend with his daughter— who I adore—and leave me home. You would have thought world war three broke out. My husband is horrified. Further, I suggested he just tell them I didn’t want to come and let it go. This caused further pain and he said I was very different then most of the world and that it’s not always necessary to say what’s on your mind. I don’t disagree; however, once again at my age I just don’t see the need to aggravate myself visiting with a group of people that would rather not see me anyway.
Therefore, I respectfully request your comments regarding this situation as I’m sure I am not alone and that many of you are not approved of or liked by your partner's families. So what do you do when the holidays arrive and you find yourself needing to go somewhere you know will be uncomfortable for you? Will you go and just be silent, or will you fib and stay home? I want to not go and establish I won’t be there in the future. I’ve been struggling and trying to fit in for over 13 years. I’m beyond caring and now would like to just put it behind me give my husband my blessings and say have a good time.
Our daughters—he has three and I have one—all love each other and do very well together. It’s his brothers and their families that I have issue with. I’ve tried on many fronts and really don’t want to spend the next 30 years trying to avoid the family gathering. I’m 66 with 4 daughters, 7 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren it's not a priority to fit with his family. We all get along great and love each other and his daughters know my feelings and graciously have no judgment or comments.
I told my husband I support my decision however, I’m sorry for how he feels about this. Nevertheless, I am not willing to change my mind and go to the party. Any ideas would be great or stories to read so I know I’m not alone.
My very best,
Dorothy
