Who to Trust

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When I was a kid, I didn’t have many friends with all the crap I went through. I had two friends total and they weren’t the best to have. One taught me to steal and the other lied to me the day we met, though it took me years to realize she had lied to me. She had continued to use and abuse me through the years, especially when she had kids. She was continuously thinking only of herself and never anyone else’s needs or desires. Instead of being a responsible parent, she dumped on me and I was stuck at her place with her kids while she was out partying and she wasn’t the only one who did that to me. I was the one who should have been out having fun since I didn’t have kids. I mean teens and girls in their twenties have no damn sense at all when they have kids; their priorities are screwed up.

Never, ever, give any friend any amount of money because they will screw you over, make excuses, and even with a legal written agreement, they will weasel their way out of being responsible. Tami did just that to me. I took her to small claims court and she never showed up. She should have learned you don’t treat friends like crap if you truly care about them. Well, I learned the hard way many times with different people that they will use you, abuse you, and just take you for whatever you have while they sit on their ass on welfare and cheat you, while you work to make a living. They will lead you down the wrong path and take advantage of you because they know how gullible and needy you are for relationships. Yet they don’t really care about you.

Now it’s almost thirty years later and Tami is no longer in my life, yet she still tries to worm her way back in by saying she loves me. I learned that she just says that to get her way with me and she refuses to quit trying to manipulate me. There are a few men who have tried to do the same to me. One sexually abused me and did things to me no man should ever do to a woman, like slap me for saying “no” to sex, then forcing himself on me.

Two other men who were married came to me to have a relationship when things went bad in their marriage—and the two wives were friends of mine. I told both of them I’m NOT that kind of person and they should be ashamed of themselves for going to the wives’ friend. They both blamed me for their issues and yet I told them I wanted no part of it. Why do men ignore a woman when she says no? Do they only think below the belt or what? I was not attracted to any of them at all and yet they refused to comprehend there’s more to life than sex.

My ex-boyfriend who had abused me had contacted me years later after we broke up and had the audacity to beg me to take him back and I told him no woman would take an abusive asshole back unless she was freaking crazy. I gave him hell over the phone and told him:

1. You had no respect for me.

2. You refused to take responsibility for your own actions and behavior; you blamed an entire apartment building for your crap.

3. You are twelve years older but act like a damn two-year-old who can’t decide if he wants a mommy or a girlfriend.

4. Never, ever, say that the female who is being abused is the one who belongs in a psych ward when it’s the man doing all that shit.

Now, another five years or so later, the same abuser is back in my neighborhood riding the same bus but is smart enough finally to leave me the hell alone. The other guy, however, who is now divorced is trashing me all over town and the internet lying about me. I had told him whining to me about his marital issues with my friend is not cool. I told him I knew her way longer than he did and I will never take his side in anything. So bashing me or his ex is a stupid thing to do. It’s hard for me to trust anyone and it starts with my family because they’ve treated me like crap ever since I was born.


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