Why do people do the things that they do.
I was in a relationship with someone a few years ago. This was the same person who used to remind me that people do what they do for a reason and because of something that has happened in their lives in the past. He was brought up in a large family (obviously not well off), so there was not always enough to go around for all of them. He mentioned that he and his brother had to share one pair of shoes to go to school; one of them wearing it one day, and then the other wearing it the next day. I don’t know how true this was because it was very difficult to know if what he said was true or not. He was a driven person. He was hungry for success and to make a lot of money by any means. He was always working on something to make this happen. It could be walking the streets from sun rise to sun set looking for work to do. It could be making friends with people who he thought could help or invest in his projects. It could even be taking people’s money or items left in his care to sell to make the money that he needed to make his venture work or whatever venture was on the go at that particular time. There was also this other habit that he had, which was to take or get money from one set of people to pay the previous set of people, who had fallen for his story. There was always a story and reason why he needed the money, and with promises that he would give it back when the business venture took off. There was one story that he told me some time ago that his son had fallen off the back of a moving vehicle on his way from school, was in hospital in a coma, and he needed the money to pay the hospital. Then there was the time that I had left him to look after my apartment and puppies while I traveled to the UK. I had brought a brand new bike from England as an attempt to get fit, and it had not been used yet; it was still in the box it was bought in, never used. He told me later on that he had something to tell me and that I was not going to be pleased.
It was that he had taken the bike and sold it to a guy so that he could fix the French window of the neighbor that his son had broken. He did not ask me before hand if he could sell it, but borrowed his friend’s car, travelled to the apartment and took the bike, and rode it around telling people that it was for sale, eventually selling it. Again I don’t know how much of what he told me was true, except that I know that he sold the bike without my permission.
There is this saying that desperate circumstances or situations calls for desperate actions. In this case it was part lack of resources and scruples too that would make someone do that to a friend who had done so much to help him; and no, I was not the first that he had done such things to. There were other casualties I now know about of his scheming and deceitful actions. Yes people do things a certain way because of their upbringing and background and circumstances in their lives. I have never been in want to the extent of wanting to lie and deceive others for what I want or need. I have been blessed in my life to have had money due to always being able to work in a job that I have loved. When I have not had the money to buy what I want or needed I have stayed without, and thought that in time it would come. This is a different attitude to this guy. The question I ask is will he ever change? Will he continue to go through his entire life deceiving and hurting people with his actions? Who will stop him? God? God does not force people to do what is right; he gives all of us the choice for right or wrong. It is only when we are willing to learn the better ways in life and apply them to our lives that we will change. No one can make us do right, not a strict parent as much as they mean well, not a coaxing gentle teacher as much as they too want the best for you as a person. The change must come from within when we recognize that need to change and do better things in life and become a better person in society.
We as individuals must point out to those who err, that they are doing wrong, but more of the coaxing voice of a teacher than a scolding shout of disapproval, and yes often times we must repeat and repeat and repeat it over and again, and then leave it with them to do with what they will with the guidance. I hope that we will recognize what is in us that may make us do wrong rather than right in our lives and the lives of those we come into contact with. The things that have happened in our lives in the past as the bible says are to make us stronger, not bitter and better too.