Gone Awhile

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He said he would give them up. We did really well for about three years; we went to church and changed our lives. We had our ups and downs, but not like it was in Brownwood. Then he started transporting pot back and forth from Brownwood to Kerrville, because it was dry. 


In 1996, we moved back to Brownwood because my grandmother got colon cancer. Things were just getting worse, he had wrecked my pick up and totaled it out and became disabled because of his diabetics. So I worked two jobs for a long time to support us and he took care of the boys. I didn’t know he was shooting up until later. 


In November of 1998, my son Sam died of leukemia; it killed him in five days. There was nothing we could do. It was November 24, 1998 when he went. They told us at the hospital that Sam would never be the same and they were 99.9 percent sure he would not come off the ventilator. So I had them put him in a private room so we could be with him till the end, I told them to pull the plug. Sam had seven different IVs going at the same time to help keep him stable. That was not Sam. My ex-husband tried to sell his soul to the devil to save him. I slapped him and told him to either help me or leave. 


So he ran out the door and I handled everything. I watched him go; he was smiling. It was a beautiful smile. He knew that I loved him with all my heart. I know Jesus came down and got him and took him to a better place. The next day the heart specialist called and told me that Sam should have never died. I lived for over two years blaming myself that I killed my son. So I was in limbo. I did not want responsibility for anything or anyone. All these people wanted to name the child after Sam; thank God, they all had girls.

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