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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

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Have I ever told you about my hair phobia?

No?

Well, let me fill you in.

I HATE hair.

Wait—that’s not entirely true. As long as hair is attached to a head, I don’t mind it. But once it is UNattached from my your body, my body, anybody’s body, I am completely grossed out!

Because God has a sense of humor, not only do I have this phobia/disgust/loathing for hair, but I also shed like a dog. (Very funny, God. Har de har har.)

So imagine my delight when early on in my pregnancy I discovered that the reason preggos have such great hair is because you don’t shed while pregnant. Something about one of the hormones surging through your body while knocked up keeps your hair from falling out. Hot damn!

I had nine-plus months of lovely hair. I also had nine-plus months of not shrieking with disgust every time I washed my hair. (I’m sure our neighbors think Ricky beats me because I spend a lot of my time in the shower screaming, “Get off of me!” But no, Ricky is NOT abusive.)

(My hair, on the other hand …)

But then a few weeks ago, my hair utopia came to an end. I started losing hair by the fistful. I have to Drano my shower every time I wash my hair. (I wish that was an exaggeration.) My bathroom floor is covered in a carpet of red, curly hair. (Are you as disgusted as I am right now?) I’m constantly sweeping in there. (And I hate to sweep. But I hate hair more.)

Apparently the downside to that beautiful PG hair is that a few months after having your baby you start shedding again. But now along with your usual shedding you are also shedding all of that hair you held on to for nine-plus months.

Well, shit.

So here’s where I need your help, fellow moms. I have been unable to find anything definitive on how long this hair horror-fest will last. I was reading some mommy forums and found anything from a few weeks to “I was still losing hair for a year.”

A year?

A YEAR??

There is no way I can handle a year of this ickiness! So please, tell me, how long did this go on for you post-baby?

And if it was for more than a year, just keep your mouth shut!

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