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Fourteen Unforgettable Groom's Cakes

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Weddings are usually events that are mostly run by and for women. However, one matrimonial item is reserved for her male counterpart to envision and bring to fruition—the groom’s cake. Southern tradition dictates that men in the wedding party decorate the cake at the chosen wedding venue. The groom’s cake may reflect hobbies, interests, or obsessions of the groom, and its theme is generally light-hearted—think red velvet armadillo, á la Steel Magnolias. Let’s see just how creative grooms can be in using (and abusing) their slice of recognition:

For the beer-loving groom:

Photo source: Cakes by Graham

Photo source: PhillipWest on flickr (cc)

If the groom is going to spend so much time and energy designing a beer-themed cake, one would hope he’d choose a classier brand for the occasion (even Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, would be a step up from PBR and Coors). Perhaps there’s something to be said for loyalty.

For the active groom:

Photo source: Carty Cakes

Photo source: Cool Cakes by Lindsay

Is he an avid mountain climber, or is this an escape attempt?

For the nature-loving groom:

Photo source: Sugar and Spice Bakery

Photo source: Annie O’s Custom Creations

I understand the sentiment behind the first cake—a buck and his doe sitting atop a tiered forest. It’s almost romantic. But, an armadillo? Unless the groom is an avid Steel Magnolias fan (which would make him the first I’ve ever heard of ), the choice seems pretty odd.

For the lucky groom:

Photo source: David Geaney

Either the owner of this cake has an extremely understanding bride, or he told her that the cake was modeled after her own body. Whatever the case, he’s sure lucky to have gotten away with it.

For the groom who can’t let it go:

Photo source: DiamondVues

If the hobby or interest that best exemplifies this groom is an outdated gaming system that nobody plays anymore, it’s time to find a new hobby. I loved Nintendo as much as the next person, but I learned to move on, and so should he.

For the groom who’s trying to score brownie points:

Photo source: Sedona Wedding Cakes

Photo source: Daily Mail

Groom to bride: “I love you so much that I want to consume you!” Bride to groom: “Um, we need to talk.”

For the Twinkie-obsessed groom:

Photo source: DVO Enterprises

Photo source: Cute Overload

These groom’s cakes are for those who just can’t do without their daily fix of completely artificial flavors, colors, and calories. On the plus side, it will last forever, even if the marriage doesn’t.

For the groom looking to gain thirty pounds:

Photo source: Hilda Special

Photo source: A Catered Affair

Nothing says classy wedding better than a Big Mac or a cookout, right?

So, if you are supposed to put a slice of the wedding cake in the freezer, what do you do with the groom’s cake? Tradition holds that if the blushing bride sleeps with a slice of groom’s cake under her pillow, she’ll dream only of life with her new partner. However, if this life consists of frequent trips to Mickey D’s, nonstop video gaming, or a disturbing obsession with armadillos, perhaps it’s best to eat the cake and sleep slice-free. With any of these cakes under my pillow, I’d be afraid of nightmares. Very afraid.


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