Grandpa's Oyster Cocktail Party

+ enlarge

Com’ on September, them damn ol’ oysters will finally be in season. It’s shade tree oyster shuckin’ time! Grandpa’s favorite party appetizer downed with a couple of shots of Louisiana Hot Sauce, a sprinkle of lime salt, a cracker or two, an ice cold brewsky, and an inner circle of a few close friends.


Five bushel baskets fresh, raw oysters (still encased in natural shell, covered with plenty of ice)

Five oyster shuckin’ knives (one for you and your four friends … at this party, everybody fends for their self!)

Five bottles Louisiana Hot Sauce

Two boxes saltine crackers (for an occasional Oyster Cruncher)

Two boxes lime salt packets

Five cases Longneck Bottle Schlitz beer

One large metal wash tub filled with ice (for the beer, ya’ll!)

Five chairs (for sittin’ and shuckin’ underneath the massive oak shade tree, or a grand old tall hickory will do.)


1. Sit down, open an ice cold brewsky, and shoot the bull with your friends for a spell.

2. Once you’ve built your hunger, proceed to shuckin’ them slippery rascals.

3. On the half shell, loosen the muscle meat, sprinkle on some lime salt, dash on some hot sauce, then shoot ‘er down … some fast, some slow, depending on how much of a fight they put up.

4. Repeat process until everything is eaten and drank long gone, or till no one can sit up without fallin’ off the log.

5. Remember what my Grandpa told me: “Boy, chew ‘em up real damn good! If you don’t, they’ll wiggle back out and escape!”


Loading comments...