Why are other people's bathrooms always perfect, even if you make a surprise visit? After I've cleaned the bathroom, there are elves that come in to mess it up (even before my husband and son have had a chance). The meticulously scrubbed floor will mysteriously grow a hair. The shower stall will emit a low growling sound, the sound of mold in motion in spite of having been asphyxiated by Chlorox.
After diligent scouring, my wall tiles still look like the "before" tiles in the TV commercial where the black gunk in the grout just washes down the drain after being sprayed with Magic Tile Stuff. The toilet, although sparkling, has a tiny chip of porcelain missing from the bowl. Need I say more? "But it's just a chip!" I caution bathroom users. "Yeah…sure, a chip…."
In bathroom remodeling magazines, the typical photo shows a completely empty granite countertop, with the exception of a lovely vase of fresh flowers. My friends have lovely fresh flowers in their bathrooms—obviously they have studied those magazines. My bathroom counter, on the other hand, houses eight toothbrushes for three people, three kinds of toothpaste, men's cologne bottles with only a half inch of liquid in them and a full inch of dust on them. Pill bottles, hair gel, lipstick, make-up, tweezers, shavers, combs, brushes—where do the fresh flower people keep all this? They must have actual space in their bathroom cabinets!
In my evaluation of other people's bathrooms, it's often necessary to look inside the below-the-sink cabinet—for scientific evaluation, of course. There's usually toilet paper, a toilet brush, and a cleaning product. I can't understand why none of them have the twisted rusty coat hanger needed to unclog the sink! Where else do they keep their Dollar Store gigantic bottle of lilac bubble bath, the foot massage thingy that was a Christmas gift from Aunt Netty ten years ago, the heating pad, the hot steam vaporizer, and the cold steam vaporizer?
In some European countries, there is an attendant stationed in the public restroom, usually with a container for a monetary donation, who sanitizes the bathroom immediately after use. I wonder if the offer of free room and board in the US would entice one of them to cross the Atlantic?
