Taco Pizza and My Version of Border Patrol

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Today I am bringing you a super quick, awfully easy, and very filling recipe that I just love and really want you to try because I think you’ll love it also!

However, posting a TexMex recipe wasn’t what got me thinking about border patrol, banana pudding did.

This week I discovered that the entire staff at my nail salon had never tasted homemade banana pudding, despite having lived in Alabama for years! Now while I let y’all recover from that collective gasp of horror, let me comfort you by saying that I righted that horrendous wrong the very next day. I took them a big old mixing bowl filled with banana pudding and they served it as the main course for their lunch. I was so proud!.

This got me to thinking though, about all of the people who move to the south and don’t have an opportunity to partake of what the south is really about! Enter my version of Border Patrol. You see, I got a plan!

If I’m ever elected President, here’s what we’re gonna do:

  • Set up a border along the whole of the Mason Dixon line and in all major Southern Airports.

  • Have border patrol officers, commonly known as “Granny” stationed along the length of the line and working alongside TSA in the airports to identify anyone entering the south who is not “from

    ’round here.”

  • Once said folks are identified, they are immediately pulled out of the line and taken outside to a pavilion lined with picnic tables loaded down with what we think of as “reunion food.” There will be:

Ham, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, three different kinds of deviled eggs (filling piped in egg, filling spooned in egg, and ones topped with paprika!), homemade rolls from Granny, Mama So-and-So, and Auntie Beatrice, green beans, greens, fried okra, sweet potato casserole, fresh fried corn, cornbread, steak and gravy, biscuits with fresh apple butter and preserves, big old pot of pintos, chopped onion (this counts as a side dish!), coconut cake, chocolate pound cake, mandarin orange cake, yellow cake with hard chocolate icing, HOMEMADE BANANA PUDDING, and at LEAST ten different varieties of congealed salads (If you’re hungry, most of these recipes are on my site so just hop on over to Southern Plate and sit a spell!)

Beverages will be sweet tea served from large pickle jars and lemonade served from a barrel and stirred with a stick.

Visitors will then be invited to “fix their plates” where a sweet white haired lady will follow behind them as they do so proclaiming “Git ya some of that, too. You ain’t eatin’ enough! Here, try you some of this. Yer too skinny.”

They will then sit down with “the folks” who will tell them all about the real depression, how hot cotton picking season is, and why kids these days don’t know how good they got it.

After being encouraged to go back for seconds and thirds, they will be handed several plates covered in foil to take with them in case they get hungry later and an official welcome package containing:

  • 1 Case of moon pies
  • 1 Gallon of Milo’s tea
  • Six glass bottles of of RC Cola
  • And a Southern Plate Cookbook (hey, it was written by the President who enacted all of this!).


I think I could make the world a better place, I really do.

Now how about some Taco Pizza? I love this stuff and so does my family, but especially me. So if I ever come visit you, just have one of these puppies sitting on the counter and I’ll sit down happily and be quiet for at least five minutes. Alright, three.

Taco Pizza

  • 1 can refried beans
  • 1 packet taco seasoning
  • 1 1/2 cup browned ground beef, drained well
  • cheddar cheese, shredded
  • taco chips
  • 3/4 cup salsa
  • 1 prepared pizza crust (preferably deep dish)

In skillet or saucepan, combine ground beef, taco seasoning, refried beans, and salsa. Stir until heated through. Spread into pizza crust. Top with crunched taco chips. Top with a good bit of cheddar cheese. Bake at 350 until cheese is melted and crust is browned. Remove from oven

Top with favorite taco toppings!

Photo courtesy of SouthernPlate


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