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I’ll Have an Epidural Please …

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My second baby, my beautiful daughter. Decided to enter this world fashionably late, two weeks to be exact. The doctor finally threatened induction and we went into labor that afternoon. (she doesn’t like shots!). My son’s birth was very painful despite an epidural, and I had prepared myself for the worst. Ready to shout “Epidural!” at the first sign of intense pain. I understand that natural birth is a beautiful thing. And that many believe should try to avoid man’s medicines. But I also understand my limitations, and my husbands pain in watching me. When my contractions started my husband rushed my son to our friends to stay. On the way home he was delayed by a car accident on the road. We lived in Germany and if the accident is big enough they shut down the entire road to clean it up. By the time he got back, I was ready to drive myself to the hospital. My contractions were four minutes apart.  But surprisingly not painful. This was a relief! I was amazed! Maybe your body just did what it was supposed to for your second birth! When we got to the hospital my midwife confirmed I was a six! With no pain! We walked around for a while, joked with the nurses, and had a good time watching a movie until she came again in an hour. Now I was an eight! Still no pain! I was elated! I walked into the labor and delivery room and she prepared to break my water to get things moving. One little jab with the hook and my life ended. 

Pain shot through my body like a bullet. I screamed like a banshee sending nurses running into the room. I could not stop screaming. Suddenly I sat bolt upright and told the nurse the baby was here. She looked, and sure enough the baby was coming fast. From an 8 to a 10 in 2.5 seconds. I screamed “Epidural!” Just as she ran to get the midwife. “No time sweetie” was the answer I received. What does she mean? I thought. Out loud the room was full of the rantings of some possessed soul. The nurses kept telling me I needed to stop screaming and start breathing. The thought came into my head again, What does she mean? I suddenly felt my daughter moving through my birth canal, hand first. I felt every second her elbow raked my back during the transition. I screamed to my husband that I couldn’t do this! He calmly, and logically replied, “too late now!” I decided I better get this over with quick. With one glass shattering scream and a huge push she was out. All 10 pounds of her. The midwife picked up my bruised little girl and held her up exclaiming “That’s the biggest baby I’ve seen in a long time! And bless your heart, you didn’t even tear!” She was beautiful. With dark thick hair and little swollen eyes. Who cares what it took to get her into this world. 

I am currently pregnant with my third, a little boy. And, after savoring a medicated, and natural birth. Both of which were unique and um … wonderful experiences. Am fully prepared to say “I’ll have an Epidural please …” when I open the door to the hospital. 


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