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The Perpetual Brain Fart

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I read an article recently that suggested motherhood makes women more intelligent. According to research, because we are required to multitask so much and so often, our brains are actually growing smarter to adapt. This news is comforting since I have begun to question whether I'm developing early onset dementia. There are days when I draw such a complete and utter blank about things, it's frightening. I walk into rooms all day long wondering why I walked into them or make phone calls and promptly forget who I'm trying to reach. I drive around in my minivan, kids in tow, and need to remind myself what day it is, where I'm heading, and what for. It is as though I'm a victim of the perpetual "brain fart."

Probably the most embarrassing brain fart occurred when my daughter was barely one-month-old. A saleswoman commented on her beauty and asked her name, to which I replied, "Madison." My daughter's name is Madelyn. Immediately embarrassed and shocked by my gaffe, I stifled a gasp and just went with it. No way was I about to tell this stranger I couldn't remember my own child's name! She would never be the wiser. Granted, I was suffering from postpartum hormonal backlash, but seriously?! I felt like the biggest ass!

As many of you already know, the brain fart is only exaggerated when you have more people in the house. Then, not only are you forgetting information, you're walking around calling everyone by everyone else's name. My husband is not always "Greg" or "Hon" - sometimes it takes several tries of "Weston," "Ben," "Maddy," and "Ah, whoever the heck you are!" before he is properly addressed. Same goes with the kids.

There is a great act by comedian Brian Regan during which he pretends to meet up with a gentleman on the street he knows but cannot place his name. Regan hilariously refers to the person as "Hey...Man!" Maybe I ought to throw in the towel and just call everyone in my family "Hey you!" That wouldn't be incorrect, after all, and it might save me some sanity.

In truth, although I struggle with feeling like an airhead, um....a lot, I know the wear-and-tear on body and mind are so very worth it. Each precious smile, hug, high-five, song, and story makes it so. And now I must go because "Greg," or "Weston," or "Whoever you are" is calling me. :)

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