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Finding Crim-Crim

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In high school my daughter was given a beautiful tortiseshell kitten she named Crimson.The cat liked both indoor and outdoor living and we loved spoiling her.

When my daughter began college, Crim-Crim as she called her, stayed with me. One day Crim-Crim went missing. I did everything but have her picture put on milk cartons to try to find her. I sadly figured she had hit the road looking for my daughter.

Weeks later, I saw Crimson about six houses away from ours, lolling on her back on the sidewalk sunning herself. Two elderly sisters stood by watching Crim-Crim adoringly as though witnessing Baby Jesus in the manger.

I stopped and stood at the end of the sidewalk calling "Crim-Crim!" She ignored me in that way that only cats can do. Finally after calling her name repeatedly and making the sisters uneasy, she stopped wallowing and looked sideward at me.

The look was one that said, "Who are you, and why are you calling me Crim-Crim?"

The sisters looked at me, each other, the cat, and back at me. "Oh! Is this your cat?" Sister Number One asked me sounding panicked, and throwing her hand to her heart.

I reached to pick Crimson up. She growled at me and did her best confused look followed by scratching and throwing in a hiss for good measure.


"Yes mam, I was keeping her for my daughter who is in school." I answered, trying to look natural while being mauled.

"Well, she is just the cutest thing!" Gushed Sister Number Two, clasping her hands together."We adore her! We didn't know she was anyone's cat."

Sister One chimed in. "Yes, we love her! She sprawls on our couch and beds. And she just comes running when we open the canned tuna and chicken we feed her. She devours it!"

Sister Two jumped back in. "We didn't know she had a name. We just call her Sweetie Pie."

"Sweetie Pie?" Really? More mauling.

The two ladies swooned while extolling the uncountable virtues of this cat that was acting like I was trying to shove her into a cage of hungry Rottweilers. My arms and hands cursed me for not putting Sweetie Pie down.

"We certainly understand if you want her back, little angel that she is." Sister One said, as her heart oozed down her side and onto the sidewalk.

While still holding tenuously to my effort to show she was indeed my cat, Sweetie Pie sprung from my bloody arms and streaked for their house, with a "Won't somebody save me?" look on her face as she glanced frantically back at me.

"She seems to love you two so. I would hate to yank Sweetie Pie from her happy home."I said, applying pressure to my brachial artery.

The sisters practically hopped to their door to let Sweetie Pie in. It was probably time for her shrimp and caviar lunch anyway.

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