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A Plea from Kathryn Keats: Pre-Qualify Love

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We must begin to educate our children, our nieces, our sons, our grandchildren, our friends, and our communities to pre-qualify love. We must begin to teach our children, from a very early age, to find out whom they are letting into their lives and their hearts. We must begin to pre-qualify love as adults. We must commit to ask questions and communicate with one another and the parents and friends of our young.


If we provide tools and time for this education, on an ongoing basis, much like the system of education we provide about the use of condoms and the use of tobacco, we will begin to see a decline in the horrific numbers of cases of domestic abuse and violence. And we will, with this education, begin to see who is at risk for violent behavior and to understand the circumstances about why their behavior exists. We will be able to begin to heal people who are abused, potential abusers, or dangerously mentally ill.


If we teach people to pre-qualify love, we will save many from going through both sides of this hell. And with that we will save families and loved ones from unbearable pain and the feeling of helplessness. It is time we begin to end the cycle of domestic abuse and violence, as well as the horrific cycle of mental illness and character structures that lead people to be abusers. This can be done. And it is up to you, to me, to make sure it is accomplished.


One in four women are battered. One in three children neglected. How many young people are at risk and have to end up as abusers, victims, mentally ill, or dead in order for a widespread educational program to be put into place, beginning with grade schools?


How many more shows do we need to see about a dead woman, a dead child, a mentally ill man, and a murdered family? How many times are we going to miss the boy, who at twelve, begins to feel paranoid, feel suicidal, hear voices, and then tries to self medicate with weed in order to feel normal, only to begin the cycle of unwarranted agony and violence?


I ask you to answer these questions. I beg you to begin speaking out now. If we teach people how to pre-qualify love, vast numbers of these people can and will be saved from a horrific life or death. If we can cover a penis with a condom and save lives, if we can spread the word in effective campaigns about lung cancer, stopping thousands of kids from wanting to smoke, can we not educate our children to find out, ask questions, get answers, from the kids they begin to hang out with, in order to pre- qualify love? Can we not provide tools for one another so violence and pain and loss of life are diminished?


We can save people from living a hell I know too much about. It is time. We have begun. Talk to your kids, your employer, your parents, and if you think someone is in trouble, stick your nose in their business. You  just might save a life.


By Kathryn Keats
The After the Silence Series

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