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For the Record...

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… these are some things I hate about toddler life. 


Sippy cups. Any and all sippy cups. Especially the ones who claim not to leak. Guess what buddy, they leak! 


Toys. Especially the toys that make noise, have removable parts, toys that do things when pushed or poked or pulled, yet it takes an adult to do them. 


Hair bows and head bands. Especially the cute ones my daughter refuses to wear and they end up down the heating vent. 


Car seat-seat belts. Especially the ones that I can’t for the life of me get unsnapped in a hurry, but my toddler can escape from the second I pull out of the driveway. 


Nap time. Especially the short naps that take longer to get her down than the duration of the nap and she wakes up cranky anyway for a period of time lasting longer than the nap as well … so why bother with the nap at all. Plus I’m so exhausted after trying to get her down that I totally waste the nap time effing around on the computer as opposed to cleaning or doing anything remotely resembling progress in my house or kitchen. 


Bed time. For similar reasons. 


Bath time. Especially when she is in this phase of smashing her (wet) head into my chest getting me basically soaked. Oh and everything turns into a cup that then dumps water all over the bathroom … except for inside the tub. 


Dinner time. Especially lately when my toddler looks at the highchair like a prison camp. I feel like I’m raising Helen Keller they way she wanders around the table from chair to chair looking for any food she can get her hands on except for what is on her own tray! 


Grocery shopping. Especially when I have to take my toddler who wants absolutely nothing to do with the cart seat, the straps or anything I have brought from home to keep her entertained. 


Non-verbal communication. Especially the yelling-grunts my toddler has been doing since about six months old if she wants something. I could live the rest of my life without hearing another winey, yelling-grunt. 


Trying to get out of the house at a certain time for any reason. Therefore I hate everything from doctors appointments to play dates. 


I hate the store Ikea. Especially when you get trapped in the middle of the store and your toddler poops in her brand new diaper and you are caught out without a diaper bag and no way to get out of the damn store in a hurry. I thought there were fire codes? 


I now get it when I see a toddler in the middle of the store throwing a fit while the mom is walking away in the other direction. 


I now get it why my husband’s brother and wife let their five year old only eat strawberries, bread, and cheese for every meal for the last three years. 


I now get it when I see a kid out in public with a huge knotty dreadlock on the back of their head and they are wearing their too small and faded “favorite” pajamas with cowboy boots, a Spiderman cape and full head mask to the grocery store. 


I now get it when I hear of a mom going to five different drive thru restaurants in one night for dinner for her family. 


I get it. I totally get it.

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