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Should I Feel Sad and Betrayed? – I Am So Confused

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My daughter went to college 4 hours away from home. She always said that she would come back home after graduation but something happened in the last semester of college, I am not sure what but she has decided that she wants to go to graduate school which I don’t have a problem with, but she also took an internship near the college and although she said she didn’t want to live where she is, before, she is now thinking of taking a job offer for next year in the same college city.

I feel very hurt by it because she said she would come back home and I didn’t not prepare myself for this situation. She just had a break from school for 10 days and she said she was going to spend the ten days at home, but decided to come home for 5 and is going to spend the other 5 with her friends at the beach. The day before she came home she told me she didn’t know what time she would arrive that her friends’ mom was going to have dinner with them and in the afternoon of the day she was to arrive she called and said that the other mother could not have dinner for them.

She asked me to make dinner and I did but I feel like I am second on her list. She always takes in consideration what her friend’s mom wants to do first. When I say something she says that I am ridiculous and makes me feel bad. A lot of the times I don’t say anything because I don’t want to cause problems. But I feel like no matter what I do my feelings are never taken into consideration. I have been crying a lot and my husband says that if I keep it up that I am going to push all my kids away even further which would be even more devastating for me. I have no family in the US except for my husband and kids, so is it selfish of me to want to live near my kids?

I have been a stay at home mom for 23 years. I have no idea where to go from here. I did not finish college so I don’t even know what I want to do. Any advice you can give me or ideas on this would be really appreciated. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, go to bed crying and get up crying. I don’t want to continue to go on like this or I feel like I am going out of my mind. I always thought that I had a good relationship with my kids and now I don’t know anymore. Thanks for reading my story.

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