Did that get your attention?
If you are currently on a no-sex hiatus, this is probably one of the thoughts that’s keeping you stuck—OMG! Sneaking a date into my bedroom would be a terrible thing to do! My kids would be scarred for life! And, there could be a bit of truth there, if the operative word is “sneaking.”
“Sneaking” suggests a last minute or no other choice kind of situation. “Sneaking” also suggests anxiety and the fear that you’ll get caught. And, of course, the biggie for single parents is—guilt.
We’d like for you think about this in a different way. What if you did some planning … instead of “sneaking”? That’s right. You’re planning to have sex in your own bed with another human being when the kids are asleep. No, the kids are not with the other parent, or with a babysitter, or at a sleepover. They are tucked into their own beds while you are having passionate sex in your own bed.
Here’s what you might already know from (a not such positive) experience or just anticipation based on common sense.
Kids can get confused and upset when an overnight “guest” suddenly appears. This “other grown up” disrupts, if only briefly, familiar routines. He or she can also raise questions in kids’ minds about what’s going on. Kids resist change and, likely, your kids have had more than their share already. And you, the parent, are left to deal with the unpleasant fall out. Just thinking about how you might deal with that kid fall out is enough to make most single parents stay in a safe sexless coma.
But you’re a human being with wants and needs, this kind of thinking is unnecessary and unhealthy. Delicious, satisfying, toe curling sex in your own bed/kids asleep can happen (yes, we have been there, obviously) without kid-drama.
Practically speaking, each single parent has his/her own circumstances and challenges. So, unfortunately, there is no simple one, two, three guide to having a sex life at home and keeping your kids on a steady emotional course.
So, we need to know:
- Would you like to find more in your bed than the toys the kids left behind, work from the office you promised yourself you would finish, or last month’s gossip magazine?
- Does the idea of an “at home sex” scare you?
- Is it unacceptable from a parental perspective?
- Are you just a little bit curious about how other responsible single parents manage?