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A Stitch in Time…Motherhood

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What can I say? Motherhood is definitely a journey worth taking. First, let me explain. I am a single mother to four beautiful children…whose children aren’t beautiful?? I adore kids. I have been blessed with recovery due to an addiction to meth. Not only was I an addict to the drug, but I was also addicted to selling it, the lifestyle, and everything that goes with it. Some would say I was a “ functioning addict”—if there were really such a thing. I have been told that. However, when push came to shove and I ended up in court fighting for my children, I still continued to use. I so badly wanted to stop. I couldn’t. That was the ultimate form of despair. I have heard people say, even I have said to people, “If you really care about your kids, you’ll stop using!” It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, though. Eventually, I was sent to a rehab and my life has been changed forever. Believe me, I am a somewhat stubborn person, not easily persuaded. I’ve always known I had a gift for knowledge, but putting that knowledge to good use was another story. What I found out was I am a full-blown “rescuer”  type of codependent. Anyway, I’ll skip ahead here and say that I am living a new-found freedom now and loving every minute of it. 



I have published my own autobiography called One Year Later—From addiction to recovery to sobriety and I believe it was so therapeutic for me. I don’t want to be redundant here, so I won’t go into detail about my recovery. You may find it interesting to read the book if you know anyone who has a drug problem or a problem with CPS and the courts. I know people who have read it who have never had a drug or alcohol problem, and they totally appreciated it because it helped them to understand people and addictions. Not every addict is the same, but the underlying theme is still the same. It’s like I said to a lady I sponsor now in AA, “Staying clean is one thing, living clean is another.” People can have any odd number of years clean and still not have their lives straight because they still carry so much junk around. I have found this to be true of people who have perhaps never really had a problem with so-called “addictions” …it goes on and on. My book is available at amazon.com, in case anyone is interested.



My main reason for writing this today is because of an email conversation I had with a friend of mine. I am new to this website and I absolutely love it!! I thought that this would kind of put a twist of humor into my ordeal with motherhood. I emailed my friend that my kids were going camping with their father this weekend and when she emailed me back, she told me I was lucky to be getting a weekend to myself and that I should enjoy it. See, she assumed my kids all have the same father. This woman goes to my church and we have recently become acquainted. So, when I emailed her back I wrote, “No, just my two oldest ones are going camping…do I have to spell it out for you?? Okay, I’m a tramp. I actually had sex four times in my life, with three different men, and all four times, I got pregnant!!”



At that point I realized my oldest child, Haley, looking over my shoulder and reading what I wrote. I said, “ Haley! Quit eavesdropping on my email!!” She looked at me with this really surprising look and said, “Mom!! You have not had sex four times!!” So, I said, “ How many kids do I have? Right, FOUR!! So, yes, I did four times!!” Then she just shrugged her shoulders and agreed with me. I think it was a little bit too much information for her because she left the room at that point and I, of course, felt all the wiser for convincing her of that. After all, she is just now thirteen years old. I know, though, that someday she will remember this conversation and she will say, “ Mom! You lied to me!!” and I will have to come up with something quick. I could rehearse something for years and when the moment comes it will catch me off guard anyway, so that is something I have to look forward to. It still makes me smile.



I have many stories I could share, and knowing me, I will share a lot of them. Thanks for listening to this one. This is an incredible place to go when I want a heartwarming story. I love this website.  



Related article: When Will It Stop?

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