When Is It Appropriate for Your Boyfriend to Discipline Your Kid(s)?

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When I blogged recently about what it means to let a boyfriend—or girlfriend—step in and discipline your kid(s), apparently it hit a nerve. 

Boston Globe writer Lylah Alphonse—a mom and step-mom to five kids—wrote her own post from the perspective of a step mom.

About.com columnist Jennifer Wolf asked “whether dating single parents should let their significant others have a say in child discipline.”


If you’re a single parent who’s in a serious, committed relationship, what’s your take on this one?

“I think the answer depends on how you define ‘discipline,’ “Lylah writes at Boston.com.


“In my case, I was (and am) comfortable with sending the big kids to their rooms. I’ll correct manners, enforce our household rules, separate squabbling siblings, set time outs, revoke privileges,” she writes.

“But if harsher punishment needs to be meted out when my step kids are with us, it seems like that should be up to their dad because, well, he’s their dad.” Lylah adds. “I’ll back him up, I’ll support his decision, but the decision is still his, not mine.”

In my own life, I’ve played the role of Mom and Dad very early on—even if wearing those Dad shoes doesn’t always come easy for me.

Still, dating as a single mom for me has never been about searching for father figure for my kid. But any single parent who has dated someone—and let him/her into your kids’ lives—knows that kids DO push boundaries. So, then what?


I’m sure you have a lot to say on this one:


When is it appropriate for your boyfriend—or girlfriend—to discipline your kid(s)?


Originally published on SingleMomSeeking

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