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Goatopia! 8 Ways to Get Your Goat On

  • Sassy Goat Milk Soap

    I want ten of whatever she’s selling. But those of you who are not so easily seduced by lipsticked, floppy-hatted barnyard animals might be wondering, Why put goat milk in soap? The small protein molecules in goat milk (smaller than in cow milk) work as natural skin softeners, while the lactic acid works as a natural exfoliant, which explains why it’s been a staple in beauty routines dating back to the Ancient Egyptians. Sassy Goat incorporates the bounty of their very own Alpine goats into all-natural soaps, lotions, and shaving products for a kinder, gentler skincare solution.

  • Laloo’s Goat Milk Ice Cream

    Oprah touted this delicious frozen treat as America’s first guilt-free ice cream in her magazine last year, and here’s why: goat milk is easier to digest than cow milk (thanks again to its smaller fat and protein molecules), so it provides a welcome workaround for the dairy-loving lactose intolerant among us, plus being a still relatively small industry, goat farming is virtually free of antibiotics and growth hormones. As if all of that weren’t enough, this ice cream has about half the fat of other premium cow-milk brands. If that’s not a mandate to indulge, I don’t know what is. ($6.99–$7.99, Laloo's)

  • Goat Milk Bath Bombs

    Rumor has it Cleopatra bathed in goat milk to give her skin a queenly glow. For those of you who are slightly lower maintenance than her majesty and don’t want to go to the hassle of dumping gallons of dairy into your bathtub, consider these pretty little bath bombs. They are made with goat-milk whey and sweet almond oil, and for added entertainment, they fizz! If bath bombs aren’t your cup of tea, Goat Milk Stuff also offers beautiful artisanal goat-milk soaps, lotions, and laundry detergent. ($3, Goat Milk Stuff)

  • Happy Goat Scotch Caramel Sauce

    If you’re thinking (like I once did, foolishly) that scotch, caramel, and goat milk sounds like a dicey combination, I’ve got something important to tell you: you’re wrong. This sauce is so creamy and delicious that I momentarily considered forsaking all other food groups. And if that’s not enough, consider this: the company’s name is Happy Goat. If that doesn’t make you want to buy it, you have no soul. ($19.99, Happy Goat)

  • Kate Somerville Goat Milk Cream

    I’ve never seen a photograph of Cleopatra, so I cannot attest to her radiant complexion and breathtaking beauty, but I get the message: goat milk gives you pretty good skin. This fact has not been lost on high-end beauty retailers. At $55 for a 1.7-oz. jar, Kate Somerville’s goat-milk moisturizer should not only give me skin fit for a queen but a bevy of servants and a marriage proposal from a studly Roman warrior, too. ($55, Sephora)

  • Goat Milk Fudge by Kidding Around with Chocolate

    Like most people with taste buds, it doesn’t take much to sell me on fudge. However, most fudge is so sweet that it falls short of my ballooned expectations and leaves me wishing for a dessert do-over. This fudge is different. The starring ingredients here are bittersweet chocolate and fresh goat’s milk—sugar is just a supporting actor. If you’re looking for a little bit of excitement, try the espresso or maple cinnamon walnut flavors. (Kidding Around with Chocolate)

  • Meyenberg European Style Goat Butter

    In my experience, “European style” generally translates to “more delicious.” In the case of this goat-milk butter, it’s code speak for “higher fat content.” Like I said: more delicious. This butter also has a lower melting point than cow-milk butter, so it’s a great topper for toast, pancakes, or any other place you might want to put your butter that’s not piping hot—I don’t judge. ($7, Meyenberg)

  • Nature’s Dog Goat Milk Wipes

    This product warms my heart. If goats and dogs can put aside their differences in the name of better hygiene—world peace is possible. (Canus)

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