I know it’s over. I am just depressed now. I am starting to forgive myself. I still keep checking my phone—he broke up with me in March. Wow. I kept to my promise of not texting him and cutting it short when he texts me. I have to get over him. This is all déjà vu. Last year around this time I had the same feelings of hurt, sadness, and depression. Next July this will not happen. This time next year, it will be different because there are no chances anymore. I had all my chances. I read my blogs from last year and all I wanted was a chance. I got it and I messed it up.
He will get his birthday card at midnight on July 17. I doubt he’ll open it, and if he does he won’t even say thank you—or he will say “thanks” and that’s it.
I am going to use the time to go to Puerto Rico (a trip we were suppose to take together for his birthday) to continue to get over him.
It’s so sad he went from wanting me to have his baby to me just being some girl from the states he met. WOW. That is the reality of it all. I go back and forth with it being him playing me and taking advantage of me. Oh, and let us not forget his reason is that I was very, very mean to him. That eats at me so much. I have to forgive myself.
Now I know I will have moments of weakness but I am stronger than this. I have to get over this man. There are no more chances. I missed a great one because of my attitude. Time for reflection.
