This article was inspired by a friend after she wrote something about the analogy of (un)employment and love.
You see, I was looking for a new laptop that time when I wrote these lines …
“Looking for the perfect guy is like looking for a brand new laptop. There are many brands, specifications, sizes, and color out in the market. Sometimes, when you think you have found the perfect one, it is too expensive. So you buy something less expensive just to have one but end up having the bad one. When you have it already, you start doubting if it’s really the perfect one. Most of the times, when you have found the perfect one, you use it for a while then scout again for a better one. I just wish love is something like a laptop. Once you dispose it, you’ll find a much better one. But you see it’s not the having that kills, it’s the agony of looking, searching, and waiting.”
I’ve been Single for four years since my ex boyfriend and I parted ways unofficially. Some of my friends have been telling me stop being choosy, stop setting high standards and that I have to make the first move but does it follow that when you are still Single at the age of twenty-eight you are not anymore authorized to dream and wait for your dream guy?
If they only knew how much I’ve done and tried settling for less just to show them that I am not single anymore. From pretending to have a suitor, admirer, and boyfriend; from asking a guy on a date but end up being rejected; from texting a guy every single day just to let him know I care; from sending e-mails to a childhood friend oversees just to ask him how he was but end up receiving not even a hello or thank you; from appearing snob, strict, and conservative just to make a guy think I’m challenging enough to pursue me, to being sweet but only end up attracting the ‘wrong’ guys.
I’ve done it all. Believe me. Even though I still believe that guys should make the first move, I’ve done it all. But I only end up to nothing. Not even someone asking me for a date.
With the trend of chatting nowadays, some were lucky enough to find their better halves through online. I’ve tried that too. But unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Having a job that requires me to stay in front of my computer, online dating and chatting should have been the way to meet that ‘one’ but still no one. A job that pays enough salary just for my sustain my own expenses and having raised to become conservative and no-gimmicks at night, I cannot find a way on how to meet a guy who would ask me out for a date or court me.
I’ve tried asking my friends to set me up on a date. Some would promise me but some would end up telling me that … “Love comes unexpectedly.” I wanted to ask them when and how soon because I’ve been waiting for eternity but I just kept my mouth shut just to end the conversation.
I was amazed that with the kind of work that I have, with the environment I am in, I am so blessed to have a lot of guys around but unfortunately, either they are married, engaged, too old for me, or divorced. And again, I can’t settle for that. Because I’ve been waiting for so long should not prevent me from dreaming, wishing, and hoping that I will still be able to meet that guy destined for me.
It is such a coincidence that all the desirable and attractive men are already married. Or perhaps we are not just meant to be.
I have crush on this guy who is thirteen years older than me. I heard he told another friend that if he’s Single right now, he would have courted me. I don’t know if he meant that or he just wanted to tell me he’s also interested but when I tried to analyze our situation, he got married when I was thirteen years old. We have a big age difference and there’s no way we could possibly meet that time.
I do not have anything against younger women marrying older men but I just wish to have a husband who would grow old with me. And even if that guy is not married today, I don’t know still. Sometimes, we desire for things beyond our reach. We tend to overlook things that are within our reach only to realize their importance once they’re gone.
I don’t know still how long I will be waiting to finally meet the guy destined for me. When and who, only God knows. It’s hard to wait when you are not sure if he is really coming. But that’s when faith comes along. “ Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.” (Heb 11:1-2)
I just pray that I could wait for some more because there’s a saying that goes like, when you least expect it, love happens.
