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Whenever I get stuck, I turn to a certain blogger named “T” who continues to inspire me in the most intuitive way. Sometimes I’m stuck in negative thought, often it’s after my guy and I have a misunderstanding.

Have you been there? Here’s a recent post from T that has helped me—about “allowing in a relationship.”

Specifically, T writes about how many women “allow” men to be the provider (a.k.a. the “hunter”). She explains: “I love allowing a man to be the man, however, at what point does a man allow a woman to help too?”

That Lucky Guy and I struggle with this sometimes, too. We’ve both been single for a long time. He’s used to being in the driver’s seat, so am I. Yeah, controlling does signify fear, doesn’t it! (No thank you backseat drivers!) We’re working on this, and I love the fact that we seem to have found this sweet give-and-take in the kitchen when we cook together.

Of course, we’re not always in the kitchen together, and every once in a while, my triggers go off. I’m learning how to pay attention to my fears. My defense mechanism is to shut down. And what happens? All that allowing simply comes to a halt. And it’s awful.

So, lately, whenever I start to get scared, I slow down. Instead of shutting off, I sit with these unpleasant feelings—which sometimes seem unbearable—and continue to allow love to come in. Maybe it really is faith: in myself, and in us.

It might seem insignificant, but something remarkable is happening.

Are you also working on allowing? What are you struggling to allow?

Originally published on SingleMomSeeking



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