An acquaintance revealed to me that she was trapped in a relationship. This is not an unfamiliar story. I have heard both women and men talk about being stuck with a partner. What people fail to realize is that relationships are about choice. A healthy relationship is a choice made between two people who decide to enter into a bond with one another by free will. In a healthy relationship a “Win-Win” situation between both partners may exist. This means that both parties are receiving some positive benefits that result in a mutually satisfying outcome.
Unfortunately, when a relationship evolves into “Win-Lose” or a “Lose-Lose” someone will no longer benefit and the outcome becomes negative. If this continues over a period of time without any resolution; conflict, resentment, anger and hopelessness begins to feaster within the once healthy relationship.
Remember, a relationship is a choice and at some point an individual can change their mind when a benefit is no longer evident.
So, why don’t people exercise their “free will” to exit a relationship that is no longer a benefit to them or their partner? I have found that some people don’t out of fear. Yes, fear of abuse, financial ruin, disruption of family or numerous other reasons. Or they simply don’t know how to make a choice. So, they find themselves trapped in a relationship feeling as if they do not have any options. On the contrary, the best advice I can give is “Choice”. Everyone has a choice. It’s just that someone has to be brave enough, confident enough or fed up enough to make one or you’ll forever find yourself trapped in an unhealthy relationship. So, make a choice today to get counseling or do something that will move your life forward.
Until Next time
Shuntai Beaugard, Relationship Coach
