There is a saying that states that men will use love to get sex, and that women will use sex to get love. Men are wired to easily separate their feelings from sex, and can engage in sex with a woman for the pure pleasure of the sensations. However, this is very hard for a woman. Most women, or at least this used to be the case, have a hard time of separating their emotions and sex. Sex for a woman is an expression of her feelings, or a search for love. So many times, a woman will sleep with a man in hopes that he will now love her. It just does not work that way.
When I venture out for a few drinks at a bar, I love to sit and observe all the people around me. I see so many women willing to give up their dignity to the first man who will pay them any attention, and then leave with them for a night-filled romp in the hay. The same women are back again the next night to do the same with the next guy. I have even witnessed, time and time again, when the bar is closing, and the lights come on, if they haven’t hooked up for the night, for them to desperately seek out the few remaining men in one last attempt not to sleep alone. What they are so desperately looking for is someone to love them, but then they wonder why they are still alone. Asking themselves, “What is wrong with me?” And their self-esteem and confidence are only further shattered with each new exploit.
There are also many women who will easily allow themselves to become the “friends with benefits” in hopes that he will realize what a wonderful catch they are, only to later wonder why the men so easily can move on to other women when they are ready for a relationship. “Why her and not me?” they find themselves asking.
What these women don’t seem to realize is men will easily sleep with them because they can. But when they are looking for someone to become “the One,” they want a quality woman who thinks enough of herself to be selective about the man she is willing to share herself with. He wants to know that he is special, and has won over her heart and body. For a man to feel attraction toward you, he has to see value, and much of the value he sees in you is the value that you place on yourself. They need to know that you love and trust yourself so that they can also trust you.