More
Close

BDSM for Beginners

+ enlarge
 

Almost everyone that I’ve talked to seems to be infatuated with the idea of bondage and has always wanted to give it a try. Of course, I have many friends who are in the BDSM scene as well and have been in it for a long time, but I would just like to introduce some basic bondage to those who want to give it a try. I didn’t get into bondage until I was 23 years old. I was never against it or anything like that and have always liked the idea of being bound, but it wasn’t until my I met my boyfriend that truly fell in love with the BDSM world. However, unlike some people, I don’t live it 24/7; I only practice it when I get the chance. I like the idea of power exchange and being able to live out my sexual fantasies. I think everyone should give this a try! You never know, you may like it and if you don’t … Well, at least you have an interesting story to tell others. Okay, here are some basic things you should know.


BDSM
BDSM is derived from the terms “bondage” and “discipline” (BD), and “dominance” and submission” (DS). Some people only practice BDSM in the privacy of their bedrooms and some make it a lifestyle and live it 24/7. In a BDSM relationship, there will always be a dominant/top person and a submissive/bottom person. A dominant male is usually referred to as a master, and a dominant female is usually referred to as a mistress (and/or dominatrix). Both submissive males and females are referred to as subs or slaves. Other common terms include “slave boy” for males and “slave girl” for females. 


BDSM Partners
A lot of people usually practice BDSM with the person they are involved with such as a boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband, etc. Others just practice bondage with a play partner or a friend. You can also have multiple play partners in the bondage world. If that’s the case, make sure they are all clean because STDs are not fun at all. If you don’t have a BDSM partner, you can always find one at a BDSM club or on one of the many kinky websites. You’ll be surprised as to how many people are actually in the BDSM scene … even people you never thought of! 


Scene
A scene is the stage/setting where the bondage activity takes place. You can practice bondage in the privacy of your own bedroom, at a BDSM club, a dungeon, or anywhere you want. Keep in mind that sex doesn’t have to be a part of the scene. During the scene, you can live out all your fantasies and enter a new world by dominating or being dominated on. It’s always a good idea to plan out your scenes with your partner(s) ahead of time. You don’t have to go in full detail because surprises can be good but discussing your fantasies/limits and expectations with your partner(s) results in a great and satisfying scene. 


BDSM Play
Everyone has their limits on what they enjoy in bondage but some popular bondage play includes: whipping, role-playing, strap-on play, bondage, candle wax/ice torture, chastity belts, suspension, and more. What really drew me into the bondage world are the outfits. I love wearing corsets and all kinds of kinky outfits and the fact that my boyfriend loves it just as much is even better. 


Safety
Play safe always! Make sure you’re always checking in on your partner to make sure he/she is alright. When my boyfriend tied me up he always asked me if the rope bondage was too tight or not and when I told him it was, he always loosen it. It never ruins a scene or anything to stop in the middle of it for safety reasons. Safety is always number one!


Safe Word
A safe word is a word you say when you feel things are getting a bit out of control or when you just had enough. For example, if your partner is whipping you and you can’t take anymore, say your safe word and your partner will stop. The word “no” is not a good safe word because we all know that during sex, many of us women say no when we actually mean yes. Good safe words to use are colors such as red, or names of people/things that will turn you off completely.


So there you have it! If you want to practice bondage with your partner, these are the most basic things you need to know. Some masters/mistresses even do BDSM 101 classes at sex shops if you really want to go into detail and learn even more. As said before, bondage is not for everyone but you never know until you try it. Don’t be afraid to live out your sexual fantasies as you only live once and always remember to play safe and use safe words!

Comments

Loading comments...