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Big Lips, Thin Lips, Honey Pie Lips?

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In the spirit of good research, empirical or stratified, I must admit that I was in drawn in by one of those ‘Ah ha!’ moments as I discovered Divine Caroline and read my first article by Liz Monte entitled: Big Hands. Big Feet. Big Penis?


Absolutely fabulous! Reading the article was well-worth the price of membership; moreover, for a reasonably well-traveled individual living someplace between Slate and Gawker, stumbling onto Divine Caroline was divine intervention.


Notwithstanding the research that Liz Monte painstakingly collected, are we still with the notion of the infamous urban legend, or have we come to discern the obvious? For those who are not familiar with such outstanding measuring techniques, allow me to offer some others that empirically at least, seem to be rather spot on.


But first I have found that other than big hands and big feet, another tried and true measuring medium is the nose. You know what I’m talking about here—not just you’re slightly bigger beak or nostril size, what we’re talking about is the true honker!


I mean a nose is a nose right? Wrong! When one observes the outrageously huge breathing device that is taking up well over one third of the face—you are well on your way for that honking surprise.


Other real obvious and quite effective measuring media is as follows: This one they even use in hospitals so there must be some kind of reasonable accuracy involved. Anyway look at male hand palm side up; take or view the middle finger as though a man is making a ‘flat fist’. From the point of the ring finger (nearest the wrist) to the tip of the now outstretched flat hand palm up middle finger is within a measly one-quarter inch of accuracy.


So here you go: Look at man’s hand flat palm up; imagine man reaching toward his wrist with fingers; mark (mentally) spot where farthest finger (middle or ring) meets closest to wrist; then flatten hand and either mentally or otherwise measure the distance from that spot to the end of the middle finger and that is as good a ‘tool measurement’ as one’s going to get.


Another good though not nearly as accurate measurement is to observe the individuals inner forearm. Under normal circumstances if a male with outstretched arm cocks wrist joint 90 degrees and elbow joint 90 degrees, the distance between the wrist joint and elbow should equal the aforementioned measurement. Oh sure we could be a half an inch off, but hey, what’s a half inch amongst friends?


Albeit fair is fair, did you know that there is a direct correlation between the females’ facial lips and her pie lips? Ahem … you betcha! Furthermore, there is a correlation between length, texture, and amount of eyebrow hair and pubic hair? You bet there is and how!


So for all those who prefer females, or want an accurate prelude, remember this anecdote: If you watch a lady speak, laugh, or mouth gestures in general, or hell, if she should lick her lips or put lip gloss on, suffice it to say you have a prelude to downstairs.


As for labia size, protrusion, or inversion … well, that will have to be by how well this article is accepted.

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