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Breaking Up, Facebook-Style: Top Five Mistakes

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There’s no denying it. Breaking up is oh-so hard to do, especially in today’s twenty-four-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty calls arranged via sex-ting. If you’re nursing a broken heart, be sure to avoid these emotionally costly social networking mistakes.


Heartbreak Mistake #1: Do NOT stay connected to your ex on Facebook and Twitter
Yes, social networking has made keeping up with friends both near and far incredibly easy and convenient. What it’s also done is make healing a broken heart excruciatingly difficult. Whereas once upon a time, we risked getting caught if we drove by our ex’s house or dialed his digits and hung up when he answered, in today’s techno-savvy world we can cyberstalk our ex in our pajamas, from the safe glow of our computer screens, at 3 a.m. If you find yourself lurking on your ex’s social networking pages, keeping tabs on who he’s talking to and what he’s doing, you may need an intervention from your Boohoo Crew. Seriously, call one of them immediately and have them come over to exorcise your ex from your online life.


Heartbreak Mistake #2: Do NOT blog about the breakup on Facebook and Twitter
Okay, so maybe you’ve removed your ex from your facebook friends. Now you’re in a new phase of post-breakup rage, a.k.a. ranting about your ex online to anyone who will listen/read. Here’s the problem with doing this. Breakup karma is a bitch. It will come around and smack you upside the head. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, but one day in the not-too-distant future you will be dating somebody new. Things will be going really well. And then he’ll discover your online rants about your ex, label you a psycho, and delete you from HIS Facebook friends. Do you really want to earn a reputation as the scary chick who goes off on her ex online? I didn’t think so.


Heartbreak Mistake #3: Do NOT expect your social network to take sides
Chances are, you’ve got a few hundred or a few thousand cyber friends. Let’s be clear. Cyber friends are not the same as real friends. Do not ask your cyber friends to take sides in your breakup. It’s childish, unreasonable, and makes you look incredibly petty. Instead, reach out to your Boohoo Crew. They’re allowed to take your side. In fact, invite them over for a night of ex bashing, blaming, and shaming in the comfort of your own home. You’re allowed to wallow. Just don’t do it online to your faux friends.


Heartbreak Mistake #4: Do NOT engage in e-venge
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And a scorned woman with 24/7 access to the internet? There’s no telling the damage she can do! But before you send your ex a computer virus, hack into his email and delete everything, or IM his boss with inappropriate innuendos, stop. Step away from the keyboard. And remember that while revenge fantasies are sweet, revenge realities can come with serious consequences. Just don’t do it.


Heartbreak Mistake #5: Don’t forget to password protect yourself
After a breakup, it’s essential to your online and offline security to change all of your passwords. You don’t want an angry ex lurking in your email, logging into your online banking, and wreaking havoc with your cyber security. Right here and now, password protect yourself by updating all your online passwords. You’ll thank me later!


So there you have it. The top five costly social networking mistakes following heartbreak. If you’re nursing a broken heart, be sure to protect your online security, maintain your dignity, and disconnect from your ex as much as possible.

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