Cake, Mother-in-Laws, and Love

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I’m planning a wedding. My first wedding—and my last wedding. Now, I was never the little girl that dressed up in her mom’s clothes and dreamed of her perfect wedding, but the second I met my now-fiancé, I saw myself in a beautiful white dress, flowers, and candle light. In my little fantasy there was no money stress, no family arguments, and no international debates over color schemes.

I have been planning for five months and have six months until “I do.” And I have nothing but a photographer. And I’m GOING TO LOSE MY MIND. Everyone in and around my life has bickered and fought and argued about this wedding. Everyone but my fiancé, Ben and I. People say we are lucky that we have lasted this long, but the time will come when we will explode over cake flavors or the price of a veil. But I honestly think everyone else has all that arguing plus some covered for us.

Now, I know there are about three million other women planning their wedding just like I am. I know they are dealing with overly emotional mothers, nagging soon to be mother in laws, finding the perfect dress, and making sure the groom shows up. But their weddings are not my wedding. So I just don’t care.

About two months ago, I was dealing with an extremely angry mother 2,000 miles away in Washington, who was mad I had moved and was to far away from her to plan this wedding where she wanted it. As well as a future mother in law who over analyzes everything until you want to cry out of frustration. Don’t forget the reverend father-in-law who insists on us going to marriage counseling before he marries us and a soon to be brother in law and best man who thinks we should just “date for a few more years and then seal the deal at the courthouse”. Along with my dress that is “astronomically expensive”. (I’m sorry Mom but $1200 for a wedding dress isn’t the end of the world) and residents from my fiancé’s hometown wanting to “help.” (I’m sorry strange woman I don’t know, I don’t want to use your silk red roses from 1983). And don’t forget the ever-looming suggestions of having the wedding at the family ranch to save money. Because nothing is more romantic than the bride stomping through cow crap to get to her future husband.

When my body had finally endured all it could and I had my first bridal break down, my fiancé took me in his arms and simply said, “This is our day. They can nag, and complain, and suggest all they want, but at the end of the day, WE are getting married. And I love you, and I hate seeing you cry over our wedding. This is supposed to bring a smile to your face every day, not tears.” And he was right. I stopped crying, told my mom to accept that life isn’t the way she wants it, told my mother in law that she needs to trust me with MY wedding, got the dress I loved, KINDLY told the townspeople to stick it where the sun don’t shine, and am getting married at the most gorgeous villa I have ever seen.

Common sense tells you weddings aren’t the easiest or most stress free thing to plan, but if you are planning a wedding, remember to sit back every once in awhile and remember what you are doing. You are in love, and you are marrying your best friend, your lover, and the future father to your children. That’s all that matters. Embrace the love and take a deep breath. And if you have planned a wedding in the past, you need to sit back to and remember why you married him and how you felt when you did. Get back in touch with the love you had then, and I hope you have it now. Everyone deserves to have it feel like their wedding day, every day.

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