As all of you know by now, I am an author of books about astrology. I do a lot of chart readings and consultations for my readers. I have mostly positive results.
It is gratifying to hear how people make progress after they find out they have Jupiter exactly where is should be for the enterprise they wish to pursue; or that they should not dump their lover over a detail, because they are basically compatible. Charts are maps of a person’s character. Their strengths and weaknesses are vividly portrayed. They give us definite guidelines for advising others.
Something crucial has been on my mind lately. I say “crucial” because it has to do with overall personal happiness and how certain people sometimes misconceive that state of being.
The “certain people” in question today are women over thirty who are “looking for a man to settle down with.”
Every other day I get an email from a woman from somewhere on this planet who feels her life is a mess or stultifying or useless or vapid and empty because she doesn’t have a man in it. “I feel useless and unworthy without a man.” They tell me.
Most often it’s not a man that is lacking to these women, but a full thriving, throbbing LIFE. Sovereignty. Belief in self. Confidence that she can “make it on her own.”
Today’s women are too often unhappy and dissatisfied with their own adult lives. Once they have passed through their Saturn Return (ages twenty-eight to thirty) many begin to think about the future. And for some reason at about age thirty-two, up pops the Cinderella legend again to instruct their sub conscious minds to start looking for the man of their dreams—a prince charming person. They long to find a male partner who will salve their wounds, make children with them, support them financially and, in short, build them a life.
What is difficult for them to come to terms with is the fact that before a suitable male will be interested in teaming up with them to share a life forever and ever, they must first build their own lives. Men today are less and less interested in taking charge of someone else’s existence. They have problems of their own and are surprisingly lucid about them. But too many women don’t feel quite the same. That nagging Cinderella story keeps them fervently on the lookout for Mr. Right to arrive with the proverbial glass slipper and take charge of their lives.
My advice? Build your own life. Make a plan and stick to it. Secure your own lodgings early in your adulthood. Invest your own money. Drive your own vehicle. Engage in hobbies and physical activities that you are passionate about. Lend some time to helping out people who need you. Go on holiday alone or with a non lover friend. Make yourself a cozy, successful life of your own.
Then start seeking a reasonable man who has his own life together and is eager to share it. With a real life of your own, you know what you want. You have set limits in many areas. You are a true, independent grownup person. What’s more, you are not showing up at the party empty-handed. You have become “A good catch!”
But if you persist in living your life backwards and insist on and obsess over nabbing the man first, your life will no longer be your own and you may be writing to me wondering if and when you should get that divorce.